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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Your profile says your husband is in his first few years of ALZ diagnosis. I'm so sorry for this turn of events. Many, many on this forum have been in your shoes and will provide excellent guidance.
The most obvious is to get both of your legal ducks in a row. Has he assigned you as his DPoA? I strongly recommend naming a second, or back-up PoA who is a generation younger (like a local adult child, if possible). He should create an Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will), which can be discussed with his physician (not with the lawyer) so that his wishes can be laid out with more detail, sparing family members from the burden of having to guess. Then he needs a Last Will. If you already have a Trust, that would be best, but if not, it is expensive, can be complicated and requires a lot of input from both of you. You need to have all this in place as well, and a plan if something happens to you before it happens to your husband -- who would take care of him and how would it be financed?
Next, educate yourself as much as possible about ALZ. Don't discount asking for meds to treat anxiety, depression, paranoia, etc. Don't discount outside help, like hiring in-home aids, or enrolling him in adult daycare. The caregiving arrangement needs to work for both he and you. Your goal is to avoid burnout, so do whatever it takes even if he isn't "on board" with it. Also remember that each patient's journey does not necessarily look the same as another's.
Have no expectations about how family, friends and neighbors will respond or engage with him/you. Dementia freaks people out and many feel extremely uncomfortable around it. Make sure that at least your own social life stays rich as possible. You need to do a lot of self-care, which benefits the both of you. May you receive much help and support, and peace in your hearts on this journey.
Visit an attorney that specializes in elder care as soon as possible and follow his/her instructions. The problem has many significant consequences if not done properly. It's not a matter for amateurs..
Geaton and TChamp both mentioned an Elder Care Attorney. Both are spot on with that. A few other things. **Hire caregivers. That will give you a break and early on they can be there to help you but as he declines you will need more help and you do not want him resistant to having "outsiders" come in. So if he gets used to people now it will be an easier transition. **Learn to ask for help. **Learn to accept help if and when it is offered. (on the off chance that someone asks if there is anything they can do keep a list and mention an item on your list.) **Do all you can to keep the friends you have, make time for them as well. **Look into Adult Day Care in your area. It will give him a break as well as you. **Take care of yourself. Make sure YOUR doctor is aware of your husbands diagnosis. The stress you are going through WILL effect your health. **Take advantage of all that Hospice can offer as soon as he is eligible. (forget the 6 month "rule", my Husband was on Hospice for 3 years. As long as there is a documented, continued decline a person can remain on Hospice) With Hospice you will get all the supplies and equipment that you will need. A Nurse will come each week, a CNA a few times a week as well as a Social Worker, a Chaplain if you wish and a Great perk....Medicare/Medicaid/Insurance will cover about 1 week of Respite each year for a Hospice patient. **If your husband is a Veteran contact the local Veterans Assistance Commission and they can help determine if he would qualify for any benefits through the VA. It might be a little or it could be a LOT.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The most obvious is to get both of your legal ducks in a row. Has he assigned you as his DPoA? I strongly recommend naming a second, or back-up PoA who is a generation younger (like a local adult child, if possible). He should create an Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will), which can be discussed with his physician (not with the lawyer) so that his wishes can be laid out with more detail, sparing family members from the burden of having to guess. Then he needs a Last Will. If you already have a Trust, that would be best, but if not, it is expensive, can be complicated and requires a lot of input from both of you. You need to have all this in place as well, and a plan if something happens to you before it happens to your husband -- who would take care of him and how would it be financed?
Next, educate yourself as much as possible about ALZ. Don't discount asking for meds to treat anxiety, depression, paranoia, etc. Don't discount outside help, like hiring in-home aids, or enrolling him in adult daycare. The caregiving arrangement needs to work for both he and you. Your goal is to avoid burnout, so do whatever it takes even if he isn't "on board" with it. Also remember that each patient's journey does not necessarily look the same as another's.
Have no expectations about how family, friends and neighbors will respond or engage with him/you. Dementia freaks people out and many feel extremely uncomfortable around it. Make sure that at least your own social life stays rich as possible. You need to do a lot of self-care, which benefits the both of you. May you receive much help and support, and peace in your hearts on this journey.
A few other things.
**Hire caregivers. That will give you a break and early on they can be there to help you but as he declines you will need more help and you do not want him resistant to having "outsiders" come in. So if he gets used to people now it will be an easier transition.
**Learn to ask for help.
**Learn to accept help if and when it is offered. (on the off chance that someone asks if there is anything they can do keep a list and mention an item on your list.)
**Do all you can to keep the friends you have, make time for them as well.
**Look into Adult Day Care in your area. It will give him a break as well as you.
**Take care of yourself. Make sure YOUR doctor is aware of your husbands diagnosis. The stress you are going through WILL effect your health.
**Take advantage of all that Hospice can offer as soon as he is eligible. (forget the 6 month "rule", my Husband was on Hospice for 3 years. As long as there is a documented, continued decline a person can remain on Hospice) With Hospice you will get all the supplies and equipment that you will need. A Nurse will come each week, a CNA a few times a week as well as a Social Worker, a Chaplain if you wish and a Great perk....Medicare/Medicaid/Insurance will cover about 1 week of Respite each year for a Hospice patient.
**If your husband is a Veteran contact the local Veterans Assistance Commission and they can help determine if he would qualify for any benefits through the VA. It might be a little or it could be a LOT.