My dad thinks we are his private cash machine. He tried to force us to pay his taxes on his house. He has life estate and BY LAW is supposed to pay the property taxes. I know he has enough money. He was just recently talking about giving money away to the great grandkids, which was a real downer for me because it would create a Medicaid penalty we would not be able to remedy. He's not on Medicaid yet, but will need to be. He said he would just let the taxes go unpaid, and let the tax people repossess the house. And then move out. A load of crap, because where would he go? My husband and I are remaindermen and stand to inherit that house. He got us to pay off his 150,000 loan on the house many years ago, saying he could not pay it and so could not gift the house to us. He also has bullied us into paying his taxes for the past few years. It didn't seem worth fighting. But now we've had it. We are sending a letter from our lawyer to him threatening to take him to court if he does not pay these current taxes and seeking restitution for all back taxes that we paid as well. Would this be the last straw for you? I know it is a individual question. I feel that this might be it for me. Oh, and he slandered my husband, telling my sister that he said to my dad that he was "living too long". NEVER said that. He is divisive in the family. It's not the first time he has attributed nasty things to my husband and myself. He has my sister believing his lies and mistrustful of me and my husband. He once told my brother that I wished he was dead! It's just unbelievable. It really hurts what he has done, but I have vowed not to continue a relationship with him. Am I wrong? You should also know that everyone else thinks he is a wonderful old man.
The bigger picture is that he is manipulating you over an inheritance that you may never see. Honestly, I would let it all go. Once he sees you no longer care he may shut down his circus. He can't force you to do anything -- what he's done to date you have actually agreed to. My family family threatened to disinherit me when I left their religion. I told them I didn't care and the manipulation and bullying stopped because they had no carrot or stick. If you're sick of what's going on, you must do the same. And mean it. Completely back away and let the others grovel for his pennies. I hope you have a paper trail to prove everything you said he had agreed to then backed out to show your attorney. I wish you much wisdom and inner strength and mostly peace in your heart that the money isn't worth participating in this poop show.
Isn't he eligible for a discount on property taxes? Have you checked into that?
You voice concern about your father creating a Medicaid penalty if he gives some money out to the grandkids, but you also say he's not on Medicaid.
Unless his property was taken out of his name or put into a trust, Medicaid (if he has to go on it for LTC at some point) does a five year look back period and if the property wasn't transferred five years past, it get sold and the money goes towards his LTC expense.
You paid off $150,000 loan on his house and pay his property taxes for him. Why do such a thing? Unless his property is worth a fortune.
Look, he spreads lies about you and your hubby. Then lies about some promise and bullies you to pay pass taxes...come on! Why should he treat you any different than the way he is? It is working for him therefore why should he change?!
I speak from experience, my mother lies, steals, manipulates, and people think she is so sweet. If my mother did what your dad did I would be done with her! I have always told her you steal money or my credit cards from me I will send you to jail! Like I said, "I don't play nice!"
Good luck!! I hope you learn from this experience!
Dad signed paperwork that to have a life estate he needs to be responsible for bills, etc.?
Dad has not held up his end of the agreement. So IMO, he can be evicted. Not that you would do it but I would certainly have a lawyer write him a letter. He has played you too long.
And you are right about Medicaid and the sister who doesn't agree, can take care of Dad when he is penalized for giving away his money. You have done enough for this man. You kept a roof over his head.
Personality disorders, like Narcissism, run in families. I think ur born with them. So, your sister has inherited Dads disorder.