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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My mom hasn't bathed in years. She does a quick once over with a wash cloth. Its not pretty. Do you have safety bars, a seat in the shower? I did all of that and she still wouldn't bathe/shower. She is in NH now for 3 weeks. Hoping they can get her to. She thinks everyone wants to see her naked. Uh noooooo. I think this is a common problem and I truly feel your pain.
My mom won't shower/bathe either; I get her shower wipes from Amazon; also shampoo wipes. Run $6.00-$10.00 for a dozen; she sits on the commode and uses them.
Have you seen the YouTube videos of Teepa Snow? I first learned about her here on this website. I binge watched her mini video series (all numbered) and learned lots of things.
1. Teepa Snow but not the one I wanted (which is about 10 years ago). https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IxwJgDg3bYU
2. Dementia Sherpa. Close to what I was looking for Teepa’s older video - explains why they’re resistant to bathing. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhale-uqY40
I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym for a work out. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially if one has memory issues, mobility issues, etc.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Phew !!
If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
My mom is immobile and refuses to bathe as well. I have been using handy wipes to keep her clean. They work wonderful! I do it in stages, one day I will do her top half, and then I'll do her bottom half a different day. She seems to handle it better that way.
My 88 year old mother would suddenly get extreme body aches and exhaustion when the subject of a shower was mentioned. It wasn't until a friend asked if she had had some sort of trauma associated with the shower that I remembered she had fallen a few years back into the shower, broke the door and punctured a rib.
Well, I installed a new height adjustable shower head that can also be hand held. I also installed a couple of suction cup handles to help her balance while inside and stepping out. Once I managed to get her in, she did great. Very little complaining now, although we still have our days...but maybe she did have a feeling of insecurity.
I also purchased a nice long terry cloth robe which I put on her before she gets out of the shower. This seems much easier than trying to have her stepping out soaking wet to towel dry her and she doesn't have to get dressed right away if she prefers to rest a bit first.
Another thing that I mention and we talk about during each shower is what would she do if she didn't have me to help her. I let her know that showering is not an option and that if I couldn't or she wouldn't let me, then we would have to hire someone (she didn't know) to come in and do it. That seems to help her realize she's got the best thing going for her and it's in her best interest to just cooperate.
This is not to say that every bath experience is perfect...but she is pretty much resigned to the fact that the sooner we do it, the sooner she can sit back down and be done for another week! I also realize my Mother is pretty easy going and I'm very lucky that she does cooperate with me when I'm insistent on something. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of our fellow caregivers out there.
My mom likes to go out, so every Monday I tell her, if you want to go out today, you need to take a shower. She then agrees but always tells me "I already took one yesterday." Yeah, sure!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you have safety bars, a seat in the shower? I did all of that and she still wouldn't bathe/shower. She is in NH now for 3 weeks. Hoping they can get her to. She thinks everyone wants to see her naked. Uh noooooo. I think this is a common problem and I truly feel your pain.
I should stop trying to get her to bathe, then, if I were you. What will happen if you drop the subject completely?
1. Teepa Snow but not the one I wanted (which is about 10 years ago).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IxwJgDg3bYU
2. Dementia Sherpa. Close to what I was looking for Teepa’s older video - explains why they’re resistant to bathing.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhale-uqY40
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Phew !!
If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
Also, some grab handles.
Thank you. CM.
Well, I installed a new height adjustable shower head that can also be hand held. I also installed a couple of suction cup handles to help her balance while inside and stepping out. Once I managed to get her in, she did great. Very little complaining now, although we still have our days...but maybe she did have a feeling of insecurity.
I also purchased a nice long terry cloth robe which I put on her before she gets out of the shower. This seems much easier than trying to have her stepping out soaking wet to towel dry her and she doesn't have to get dressed right away if she prefers to rest a bit first.
Another thing that I mention and we talk about during each shower is what would she do if she didn't have me to help her. I let her know that showering is not an option and that if I couldn't or she wouldn't let me, then we would have to hire someone (she didn't know) to come in and do it. That seems to help her realize she's got the best thing going for her and it's in her best interest to just cooperate.
This is not to say that every bath experience is perfect...but she is pretty much resigned to the fact that the sooner we do it, the sooner she can sit back down and be done for another week! I also realize my Mother is pretty easy going and I'm very lucky that she does cooperate with me when I'm insistent on something. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of our fellow caregivers out there.