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Shawn pain in the neck though it is to do, as I see it you have two choices.
Either tell her that you will revoke your POA and send every single bill to her to be paid AND that she has to monitor ON A REGULAR BASIS that she is getting quality as well as value for money or she could if things go wrong face a charge of neglect. We have an expression over here if you pay peanuts you get monkeys! And who is going to monitor the carers don't steal from your Mum? ANSWER NOT YOU
This will also mean you wont be shopping for or her changing light bulbs - your sister will have to employ someone to do all of that AND SHE will have to be there to let them in. You need to explain to her that if she doesn't think you're doing a good enough job then you will relinquish ALL responsibility and accountability.
If she thinks you are stealing let her prove it but make bloody sure you keep every single receipt from her on in if you haven't done so already.
If she wants you to do the shopping then tough - unless she is paying you to do it plus travel costs and I don't care if you are already in the shop. Nothing pees me off more than those who just sit and bloody criticise when they haven't the balls to do the job themselves.
Your other choice is to talk to your Mum and if she has capacity to revoke her daughter as POA - now that would royally piss your sister off but hey who cares?
Shawn, the joint POA is a major pain in the behind for you, but it isn't doing your mother any harm. I'm not sure what grounds you'd have to apply for guardianship; and if your only reason is that you're fed up with your seagull sister I don't know but I'm not sure you'd get it.
You're familiar with seagulls? - the ones who fly in, make a screaming racket, crap all over everything and then fly off again.
To look for the silver lining, having your sister circling will help motivate you to provide text book care for your mother. Every cent punctiliously accounted for, every receipt kept in order, every appointment and consultation logged. These are good habits to get into in any case.
Does your sister actually have alternative suggestions for your mother's care? Is there something she is trying to achieve, or is she happiest complaining?
I would tell the sister you are absolving yourself of all responsibility and accountability and let her take it on lock stock and smoking barrels - see how far she gets especially when you ask to see the accounts quarterly.
I bloody hate seagulls - rodents of the first order and flying ones at that!
There is ethically nothing wrong with paying a grandson for out of pocket expense when he cares for his grandma and if he was doing a job of overnight car ehe would be given a room to sleep in unless he was doing waking care.
So it would be problematic to have a contract because it wasn't agreed to in advance. he cant be paid other than for out of pocket expense, so if you make him pay for example 400$ for his room and his out of pocket expenses for moving in are the costs of the room (because obviously he could live with you for free - said tongue in cheek but you get my drift), he perhaps has further to travel to work - additional cost and most carers eat with the people they look after as a social event and to encourage them to eat especially with PSP where swallowing can be a fraught and difficult time.
I don't think room and board is unreasonable at all - legally we need GA's input I think but it is sure as hell a bloody site cheaper than the alternatives and if she bitches about that small an amount show her what the real cost of care is - she might well sh^% up or even shut up!
Mom has PSP so she can't speak. So her taking her off the poa can't happen. She is a seagull that comes from miles away every so often and just throws a wrench in all the gears. My son has been helping me stay nights over here and of course is being paid for it but she wants him to pay rent because he moved in a spare bedroom upstairs. It's literally a circus when she show up tho! False accusations of abide amongst all the other crap! She's just a miserable person trying to bring everyone down with her
Sounds as thought full hired assistance would be needed here and the cost of that would start at least $200 every 24 hours. You would also need at least three reliable dedicated caregivers. Bye the bye seagulls are also terrible thieves. At the beach they will steal food right out of someone's hand. As always follow the money. Good work contacting the lawyer.
COuldnt agree more that it isn't financial abuse Abigail and CM wasn't suggesting FOR ONE SECOND that it was - what she was intimating was that people intent on making mischief have an opportunity to say that the POA has acted to take money from mothers account (where it can be shared after death) and placed it into sons account (where it cant be shared after death)
I am assuming that no direction or provision was made for what should happen in the event that .............. therefore the POA, while in reality acting in response to the mothers needs, and financial best interests could be said to be taking money from the central account to feather a nest - and THAT is financial abuse.
Once lawyers are involved and everything is laid out costed evaluated and death with properly then the only cost that could have been avoided ...yup ....is the lawyer!
I also don't see what your father's passing away - my condolences - can have to do with power of attorney for your mother. Was "She" your father's nominated alternate, or something?
We also need to understand in what way she has been making life miserable and for whom. There are defined roles and responsibilities for POAs and it is a good idea to thoroughly acquaint yourself with those. Of course you don't HAVE to be POA and perhaps that would be a good idea because once distanced you can comment - while you are in the midst of it , it would be difficult although there is an argument for fighting from within being the best option. If I were you I would also make sure there is a caregivers contract in there so you get paid
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Either tell her that you will revoke your POA and send every single bill to her to be paid AND that she has to monitor ON A REGULAR BASIS that she is getting quality as well as value for money or she could if things go wrong face a charge of neglect. We have an expression over here if you pay peanuts you get monkeys! And who is going to monitor the carers don't steal from your Mum? ANSWER NOT YOU
This will also mean you wont be shopping for or her changing light bulbs - your sister will have to employ someone to do all of that AND SHE will have to be there to let them in. You need to explain to her that if she doesn't think you're doing a good enough job then you will relinquish ALL responsibility and accountability.
If she thinks you are stealing let her prove it but make bloody sure you keep every single receipt from her on in if you haven't done so already.
If she wants you to do the shopping then tough - unless she is paying you to do it plus travel costs and I don't care if you are already in the shop. Nothing pees me off more than those who just sit and bloody criticise when they haven't the balls to do the job themselves.
Your other choice is to talk to your Mum and if she has capacity to revoke her daughter as POA - now that would royally piss your sister off but hey who cares?
You're familiar with seagulls? - the ones who fly in, make a screaming racket, crap all over everything and then fly off again.
To look for the silver lining, having your sister circling will help motivate you to provide text book care for your mother. Every cent punctiliously accounted for, every receipt kept in order, every appointment and consultation logged. These are good habits to get into in any case.
Does your sister actually have alternative suggestions for your mother's care? Is there something she is trying to achieve, or is she happiest complaining?
I bloody hate seagulls - rodents of the first order and flying ones at that!
There is ethically nothing wrong with paying a grandson for out of pocket expense when he cares for his grandma and if he was doing a job of overnight car ehe would be given a room to sleep in unless he was doing waking care.
So it would be problematic to have a contract because it wasn't agreed to in advance. he cant be paid other than for out of pocket expense, so if you make him pay for example 400$ for his room and his out of pocket expenses for moving in are the costs of the room (because obviously he could live with you for free - said tongue in cheek but you get my drift), he perhaps has further to travel to work - additional cost and most carers eat with the people they look after as a social event and to encourage them to eat especially with PSP where swallowing can be a fraught and difficult time.
I don't think room and board is unreasonable at all - legally we need GA's input I think but it is sure as hell a bloody site cheaper than the alternatives and if she bitches about that small an amount show her what the real cost of care is - she might well sh^% up or even shut up!
Bye the bye seagulls are also terrible thieves. At the beach they will steal food right out of someone's hand. As always follow the money.
Good work contacting the lawyer.
I am assuming that no direction or provision was made for what should happen in the event that .............. therefore the POA, while in reality acting in response to the mothers needs, and financial best interests could be said to be taking money from the central account to feather a nest - and THAT is financial abuse.
Once lawyers are involved and everything is laid out costed evaluated and death with properly then the only cost that could have been avoided ...yup ....is the lawyer!
I also don't see what your father's passing away - my condolences - can have to do with power of attorney for your mother. Was "She" your father's nominated alternate, or something?
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