She just called me up. The first thing she said was: Why don't you call me once in a while to see if I'm still alive? I told her I call her every other day and that her constant problems and worries make me anxious. Her response: Well I'm alone most of the time. Then changed the subject to how is she going to get out to go to her doctor's appointments if the weather keeps being so cold. It's in the 20's this week. She is 88 years old and on a walker. Walks slow, and has anemia so she is colder than normal people anyway. She has constant doctor appointments. Internest, kidney, heart, lungs, foot doctors. She is desperate to stay healthy as possible and alive to take care of financially and making sure he has food, goes to his doctors appointments, that the woman that washes moms clothes washes his too. He can do these things himself but doesn't and mom is rigid and negative and won't listen to anyone's suggestions but her own. How do I not let her get to me?
It sounds like a word is missing from your post. Who is your mother providing food and financial help to? Does that person live with her? Does he normally take her to appointments?
Does she expect you to take her to her appointment?
Provide us a little more information for more specific suggestions.