Pretty sure it's too late though. It has felt like the summer from h*ll. One thing after another.
I really love this site, and one more I'm on. Aging connect or something like that. It's so nice to come on here, and be able to talk or just communicate with others who just may understand what your going through. My mom lives with me last seven years, and it has it's good and bad times. I love my mom, and I wouldn't really have it any other way, but I also have a fourteen year old son that I raise completely alone, His dad is a deadbeat, and his papaw is barely useful at best. His grandpa use to get him on a consistent basis, but when his wife died he no longer stayed consistent at all. So now I know it was my son's nana who wanted to be in her grandson's life as much as possible. I guess what I am getting at is I just don't have the help I need. 35yrs old, and have felt stuck in rut until I enrolled in college as full time student. I start classes (online) next week. This is a dream come true of mine, and it took me literally months to get everything done so I could get signed up. I am so looking forward to this journey, but now concerned if I will be able to keep up with it ALL. I will give it my best. I can drop to a part time student, but I don't want to cause it will take so much longer to get where I want to be in life. Sorry to go on & on, and not ask a real specific question. Geuss I wonder how to make it all work and keep half my sanity? Any advice tips or just your view of life as care giver I would love to hear back from you!! Great to have outlets where ppl actually care for the well being of complete strangers:)
This is the URL for Caregiver Burnout:
https://www.agingcare.com/Caregiver-Burnout/Questions-1
I suspect you'll find a lot of kindred spirits there, as well as a lot of helpful suggestions from others in similar circumstances.
You've already taken a big step forward by enrolling for college. If this is your first semester, take only one or two classes until you get in the swing of studying. It's not as much of an adjustment as going to actual classes because you don't have the travel commitment but it does take a substantial commitment of time.
And enjoy it as much as you can - I always loved starting a new class because it was like opening a new area of life and expanding my knowledge. I always felt my brain got bigger after each class!
Best to you and good luck with your classes.
I ask myself about the burnout depression thing all the time. Part of it for me is to keep it all in perspective. Don't let minor issues become major nightmares. I don't count on anyone to help. The people who could help are inconsistent at best. I let that frustration go. Who is going to help if they don't have to, there is some resentment, but I don't let it obsess my thoughts.
It must be really hard with having your 14 year old to care for in addition to your Mom.
I do a lot of self help type reading, you name it I read it. Always looking for support and advice from smart people, like those on here. I especially like the caregiver support page. Sometimes it's funny and full of people who feel exactly as I feel. I gather strength from knowing I am not alone. When my mother is tucked in for the night, I spread out, relax, and feel like I'm free again.
Keep in touch.
The answers for burnout are as unique as the individuals who suffer from it. Generally, however, it means that the caregiver has to find some kind of help with the elders.
As was mentioned, this category
www.agingcare.com/Caregiver-Burnout/Questions-1
will bring you to many opinions from different community members. You'll find valuable help there.Please update us on how your are doing,
Carol
Learning, taking one or two courses to start, with may help you build your resiliency. Connecting by engaging in something new and then reflecting on what works for you is key. It allows you, and allows us all, to move toward people and activities that are life affirming. Equally important... taking that time to reflect gives us a chance to modify or let go of what's not working. May you notice the priceless support within you and surrounding you.
The main thing is that to be successful with online programs, you have to be disciplined and set aside blocks of time to study. Then you can burn the midnight oil to "cram" for those online exams. It will be fun. Be sure to keep your eyes open for local seminars and distance learning opportunities. It will give you a chance to meet people in your field. That keeps it all real.
Much good luck to you. I am so glad you are doing this.
Even if you don't take a class, reading world history books is another way of keeping your current life in perspective. You can cover a few million years in a several chapters - it somehow puts life in perspective and what happens at one particular moment doesn't seem so overwhelming or important, especially if it's not threatening to someone's health.
When you get an answer...please forward it to me....I now run between suicide & homicide, for lack of better words. It is a difficult journey. As long as I keep praying & moving I am fine.....
You get a decent response....please forward it to me , please, please, PLEASE....
I find it most arrogant of others to tell you that, "I know just how you feel."
NO ONE KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL.....No one.
It seems you might have times when you'll need to reduce your full time school load in order to put you, your son and your Mom first, depending on how much time that means per day or week.
I went back to school with a young baby and started out slowly. It got intense and more than fulltime later, but I got through it. Starting out slower helped me get back into the needed skills quite well. I'm glad I did it that way. Actually, I spoke to the program director who assured me I could go parttime the whole time, but she wasn't truthful. Be prepared for surprises and changes along the way.