My 91 year old Grandmother has recently started having delusions that her neighbors are after her and are starting fires in the middle of the night on her roof. She is under doctors' care, who haven't been able to diagnose her yet (this is all still very new). She calls 911 and the fire dept at least 2x a week... I've tried to tell them not to come, but they come and they are angry! This has been going on for 5 months. They keep telling us to put her in a home WELL, IT'S NOT THEIR G'MA AND THEY ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS SO THEIR OPINION is based on them being "put out". She has nighttime care so she's not scared. She still pays her bills, baths, laundry, cleans house, emails me, etc. and does not want a "baby sitter" during the day, which I understand AND respect. But.... I don't know how to keep her from calling 911... Any advise is appreciated!
Here are some ideas short of taking the phone away. Can your grandmother call you or another family member first, if she's thinking there's something going on at night? Can you reassure her that she's OK and nothing bad is happening? Since you say she has a caregiver at night, is the caregiver aware that she's calling? Can she speak to the fire dept or 911 people to explain that there is nothing going on? Or could the caregiver walk your grandmother outside to see there isn't a fire on the roof?
Or as a last resort, can your grandmother's docs give her some medications so that she sleeps through the night? On the Mayo Clinic site, they mention melatonin as a possible aid to sleep disturbances with people with sundowning.
In most places that I'm aware of, the police/fire departments will start charging people for coming to false calls. If your grandmother is like a lot of older folks and is concerned about money, maybe telling her she'll start being charged for the calls may slow her down if she's able to remember that.
PSTIEGMAN: You shouldn’t even be responding if that is your answer! County 5150 is NO PLACE FOR A 91 YEAR OLD! Shame on you!
You will receive some very outrageous or off-the-wall answers. Just pick and choose which ones apply. Pstiegman was giving you the worst case scenario. Blannie gave you the most helpful answer. Macada gave you an answer that you didn't want since you've been told this several times - and you were seeking New Answers.
My father has the same problem with the phone. He calls all the time the hospital, the clinic, the home care store, the surveyor, etc... He used to call the 911 operator. Out flew MY "respect your elder" attitude. We got into an argument over the misusing of calling 911. I finally drummed it into his head that as long as he DOES NOT call 911, he will have the phone near his hospital bed. But if I find out he's calling 911, I'm taking the phone away. He has not called 911 since. But his situation is very different from your grandmother.
We each have our way of dealing with those of dementia or senility or whatever is in our situation. Just take the answers that you like and respond. Trust me, you have NOT felt some of the posters here on AC who actually attack you. You will know it when you read it. Then I would say, gloves off and go at that poster.
I'm going to tell her she's going to start getting charged... love that idea, hope it works! I doubt it will, but I'm praying!
Your grandmother's problem with calling 911 is because she truly believes she's in trouble. I think Blannie's suggestions might be a good idea to try - that is if you can get her to the doctor so that he can prescribe her medications. And even then, it will be trying to get her to take the meds regularly. BUT, let's take it one step at a time. And do process of eliminations.
I had a patient who wanted longer hours from her CNA. She enjoyed her company and wanted her to spend time on things other than personal care which was the purpose of her visits. The nursing supervisor denied these requests which angered the patient. On one of my visits when I had fed the dog and cooked a meal, which were not my duties either, I explained to her that if she allowed the aide to even do something like wash her hair she might get more time. It worked and everyone was happy. As the saying goes ' there is more than one way of killing a cat" I have not given you a solution I know, sometimes there just is not one.
Needless to say I have to do countless cleanup from her calling 911 calling the PD calling lawyers calling Doctors. it would be so simple to just limit her access to the phone. Her dementia has really put a stress on the family everyone is on guard they are going to be accused of something
If she is capable of complete self care, it is would be strange that the only odd behavior she exhibits is the paranoia and calling 911. You might want to delve a little deeper because she probably is not self caring and handling things as well as it appears to you on the surface. She is 91 and dementia symptoms are different in each case.
Before her husband passed Mom's husband (at 85) seemed normal too, then we found out how much money he was sending to different charities he got in the mail, etc.
Mom at 91 seemed to be fine living in a house, on her own. But little by little we began to notice little "quirks". We finally got her to move to AL, and the "quirks" increased with age (writing notes all over the place, moving things around, figuring her checkbook over and over, calling the desk and reporting the housekeeper stole her jewelry, her clothes, her purse. She began to hide her purse and her jewelry.
What I'm saying is, this is the first sign that your family needs to start researching because she will be heading for AL eventually.
Also, if she continues to call 911, there could be consequences, financially for her. It could also mean they will eventually report her to social services to intervene if you don't.
I understand you want her to have her freedom and independence as long as she can, but it is going to mean she needs more oversite from family to protect her.
My mother recently called 911 when she thought she was alone at home and became confused and scared. I have contemplated taking her phone but in the mean time, I had the 911 Center put a note on our address that they are to call my cell phone if they receive a call from her (she lives in an attached apartment to our house and has her own phone line but same address).
Of course it helped that I am affiliated with the 911 Center so all I had to do was walk in and discuss it with them but you may experience similar success if you have the right approach.
Hope I can find answers here.
Sorry about your g'ma. Some will suggest that you start a new thread but it's good that you did a search and have seen some of the responses you were likely to get had you started a new one. Also good for others reading this site to know what might happen.
If your g'ma agrees to take the medication she will be offered, it might help and it might not. How old is she? Does she have other issues? Was she checked for a UTI? She probably will be now. Were you or one of the family able to speak with her the facility where she was taken? Some of her background info might be helpful to them. Let them know about her sight. I hope she gets some help. Come back and let us know how it goes.
disturbing as it probably has been for her.
Often the closest people to a loved one are the last to see that something is actually wrong.
Clearly gma needs to be in a more supervised living arrangement and you made it clear that it could not be with you.
You said she had a night time care giver. If she sleeps all night she is a total waste of money.
She should have a comfortable chair with good lighting close to Mom's door so she can hear when the phone is used.
I know many caregivers have daytime jobs and expect to be able to sleep most of the night. if they need to sleep at night they should find a different type of 2nd job.
Sorry I said G'ma when you were speaking of your mom. How is she? Have you heard anything since she was taken for evaluation?