My father-in-law is living with us since recovering from a heart attack. I am home with him all day. He has dementia and asks many questions over & over, badgers us constantly about his money (he has sufficient funds) and bills (we pay all of them). He also tries to be "helpful" by doing heavy lifting when we're not looking or gets down on the floor to pick something up, which puts him at a fall risk, even though we repeatedly ask him not to do this. I feel like I'm in constant crisis mode because if I don't do something immediately that's bothering him, he will try to "help" me by doing it himself. I cannot get him to bathe more than once a week & he refuses to change his underwear daily even though he has plenty of pairs. My husband is in the process of remodeling his dad's house, so he doesn't get home until later afternoon or evening each day. I also have 2 kids, ages 9 & 6. I snap at everyone & get angry easily. I could really use some advice, tips from others who have been there, done that on how to keep my sanity. Thank you!!!!
Is your husband remodeling his dad's home to sell it? I ask because it really doesn't seem feasible for him to move back in, given his father's dementia and health needs. You may want to consider assisted living in your area.
I pray you find the help you need. Be true to yourself and recognize your limitations as you are already snapping. If we don't confront our resentment, it comes out sideways. This is never pretty and hurts those around us, let alone ourselves.
May God give you His grace for your journey.
and valium is nice. ( for the carer ) .
Spend the money! Getting Dad to agree will be the hard part. We had to put my husband's mother in AL because of ALZ. We are blessed that she and her husband saved and saved. We are all better off because of their savings. None of us care whether we inherit a dime, even though it looks like there will be leftovers.
I should have said "frustration" there... its not like we have tempers or need anger management classes, lol! So yeah, frustration, and not knowing how to deal with these things...
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