I suffer from hip and back problems, even following surgeries. I am bi-polar, and I suffer from non epileptic seizure disorder. My children are wonderful, and have been my caregivers have been for years.. But they are really suffering from burnout, and I don't blame them one bit. They're young, and they need a lie outside of worrying about whose turn it is to make sure mom isn't gonna wander out the door again. (I did this once sleep walking, decided to go visit a neighbor, in my panties in t-shirt, they have an alarm on the door now.) Or they find a neighbor to babysit me. I know for sure my daughter is tired. She has an attitude towards me. And we use to be very close, and that saddens me. My last seizure, affected me so much, I was lethargic and unconscious for two days before my oldest daughter came over and found me. My son and daughter that live her, they don't check to see if I'm ok, they just go about their business. They're young, they work hard, and when they come home, they assume everything is ok. That particular time, I was hospitalized for 4 days. dehydration, lethargy, Dr. was wonderful, she finally put a name to this disease. I've suffered with t for 4 years. And it hits all of a sudden, whether I'm sleeping, wide awake, driving, working, anything. And it scares me. i need some kind of assistant living, or independent living, or whatever you think is best. I'm only working 1-2 days a week at Wal-Mart as a people greeter for like 4 hour days. But, it gives me insurance I normally wouldn't have anywhere else. And with as many times as I'm in the hospital a year, it's a lifesaver.
I suggest you find an advocate. Contact your local social services in private, explain your situation, tell them you feel that you need to live independently, and ask for their help and advice in a) arranging accommodation with adequate support for yourself and b) acting as an intermediary, a sympathetic mediator, in explaining to your children that while you love them and hugely value all they have done for you, you are not prepared to be a millstone around their necks - you want them to be free to build their own lives.
The thing is, I'm pretty sure that children as kind and generous as yours would be horrified to think that anyone would imagine they don't care about you and aren't prepared to give you their time. Of course you don't imagine that; but you can see what it's doing to them and you want it to stop. Very hard to explain, which is why I think a skilled, experienced outsider would help you to negotiate all of the complex, delicate issues and get you to the result you want without hurting anyone.
Best of luck, please update us.
From the bottom of my heart God Bless you. You're one in a million! From what I've read on here over time it's pretty much the opposite. So many elders insist their children give up their homes, careers and life to care for them.