He is not dangerous to himself, me, or our home yet, and not cross or grouchy, and says he isn't losing his mind when I explain things he does that make no sense. I know he is beyond "reasoning" so I don't argue with him, but his constant confusion is hard to deal with minute-to-minute/day-to-day. We're not wealthy, and have a reservation for him at the VA home locally for Alz, but have to wait until there is an opening, but don't want to move him earlier than necessary - yet want to minimize MY stress.
That's tough, but it is quite common. Do you have anyone to help you with is care until the VA opening comes open? I suppose it could be weeks, months or years.
If it he is placed there, what would prevent him from walking out the door on his own?
I hope that someone who is familiar with VA dementia facilities will chime in here. I'm not familiar with them.
Does your husband have a medical condition that he might consider going into rehab for treatment? Sometimes, that kind of explanation will get the dementia patient on board.
So, the sooner the better: why wait for the crisis?