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I need your advise: my landlord is old lady and she seems have a problem with urinary incontinence on a daily basis; her clothes, house smells very bad. She is nice person and has no kids and I'm sorry for her. I want to help her but don't know how to tell that she smells.

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Are you sure it's her or perhaps animals in her house? I knew a lady who smelled of urine, but it was her cats that overran her home. She told me one day that is what smelled. I hadn't said a word, but she knew. I felt bad for her, because it was bad enough that anyone with good mental health would have done something about it. I later found out she was a cat hoarder.

If it is her and not her pets, then it makes it difficult since she is your landlord. If something happens to her, then you may lose your place to live. That's a tough call, but if you really feel strongly about it, you could report for a welfare check to the county adult protective services. I think you can do this annonymously. Perhaps they could bring her attention to the matter. If it's that bad, she is probably on her way to having other more serious issues like eating spoiled food, ignoring medical problems, etc.

I know that the early stages of dementia with my cousin included her refusing to bath, refusing to brush her teeth, wearing the same clothes day after day, not doing laundry or changing bed linen, etc.

Good luck.
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I have almost no sense of smell. It could be a lack of the ability to sense how strong the odor is. I will ask others to help me be aware of scents. I tried this example with someone who was nearly deaf. She wouldn't hear & would act as is she did. I am near sighted. I cannot see even a big screen TV without glasses. If you ask me about something that is too far away & I cannot see it, I will tell you that I cannot see it, I don't have my glasses on. How would you know that I cannot see something, unless I tell you? You do not see what/how I see. I cannot tell if someone else cannot hear. I will need to be told. And if a person acts as if they have heard, how would I know they did not know what was said? I think we forget that we do not all have the same strengths in the same senses. Or the same weaknesses.
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Since you do not mention she has any pets in the house, if you are on good terms, you might mention there is a smell and you can't figure out what it is. Yes, urine gives off an ammonia odor and if it smells slightly sweet, that is a diabetic's urine. You don't say how close this lady is to you, so I'm not sure how much to suggest, other than for you to ignore the smell, talk to her about it, offer some Depends (hint, hint), or help clean her house. One who lives in an odor after awhile does not smell it themselves. Good luck!
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She probably cannot smell it. Kidney failure will cause the urates to seep out of the skin and the urine smell will permeate clothes and furniture. The best thing you could do for her would be to ask your county office of the aging to send out a social worker to check her welfare.
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These answers seem off track to me. Yes, she is incontinent, you would easily know and you said she is. Please do not "hint" at protection, pretend she isn't incontinent or some other method that fosters shame. She know she is wet and stinky and sticky.
You said you wanted to help her.

Make a visit , tell her you have noticed that she is having urine problems as many of us (normalize it) do tell her and you can help. If you really care, bring some products with you and help her clean up her place. This will tell you how extensive the problem is and it will give her a chance to get into some new habits with support.
The pads and pants are expensive. This may be a drawback and food pantries can help as having a urine problem is very serious, causes skin breakdown and it is obvious she is not supported well enough.
I recently went thru 3 years of 'pussy footing' around this with my parents and it is NOT a one step solution. You see this woman every month and you can open the door to this subject. It is so unkind to let others sit in their pee just cuz we are embarassed. Most of the solutions to life's problems are one difficult conversation away.
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My mom is completely incontinent. We have spent literally thousands of dollars on pads and diapers. It is a shame they are so expensive. I think that is the reason my mom tends to wear them longer than she should. Her dr. Has told her to use the rest room every two hours whether she feels the need or not. She does not do this. Her dr. Also told her to stop drinking liquids after six pm . She does not adhere to that either. My dad wanted her to get the surgery years ago. I asked her one day why she didnt have the surgery and she told me that she was scared. I change the bathroom trash every day sometimes twice. The smell is awful. Her bed is wet every morning even though I bought a pad for it. I requested her dr. To give her a test for memory loss and she missed six out of thirty. I took her for an MRI yesterday and now we are just waiting for the results. She's eighty three and I think she has dementia, possibly Alzheimer's. her mom died from Alzheimer's . Dad died on August sixth and she says she wants to go be with him she has expressed several times how miserable she is even though dad left her very well off.. Now, it's just the two of us. I take care of everything although my sisters step up now and then. She has no filter left. She swears like a sailor, gets mad over nothing and sometimes I'm the target. All I have to do is say something, anything at all and she yells at me to shut up. Then, she catches her self and apologizes. My dr. Told me that I'm going to end up the patient if I don't make some changes. My sister wants to sell moms house and buy her a condo or a mobile home. Its just way too much for the two of us to keep up. She has lived here for thirty years and can afford to stay here but is willing to consider moving to something smaller. Sorry, I got way off the topic but sometimes I just need to vent. Thanks for listening. God bless
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My sense of smell is virtually nonexistent. My mother is incontinent and using depends. Recently my husband was helping me do some maintenance at her house. He didn't say anything until we left but the urine smell was strong. I didn't notice with my smell handicap. The Dr. told me that be sure to check her for a urinary infection when this odor is detectable. I plan on her having an appointment for him to check her out. Just to play it safe. This could be your landlady's problem too.
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Pee
this is one of the big issues coming all of our way
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My mom wears Depends, and used to try to "recycle" them by hanging to dry on a hanger (!). I somehow got her to just throw em. But there's a new problem with smell coming from the "diaper pail".
I need to empty her diaper pail every day, into the household garbage can by the garage. But there's still a stink in the pail, which is plastic and we do use plastic liners.
I don't remember my kids' diaper pail smelling this bad.
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Someone had mentioned the other day to use scented cat litter to help with the smell of a potty chair.... so I was wondering if that would work in a diaper pail or anywhere else a Depend or used pad is placed. Those light weight scented cat litters would be helpful.

And if someone isn't drinking enough clear water, that could also cause the urine to have more of a smell. Yes, more water will mean more urine, it's a catch 22.
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Slightly off topic but my husband wears Depends and I bought a baby diaper container made by a company called Munchkin. (There is also one called Diaper Genie. Walmart sells both.) A collection bag clips on to hang down the length of the container and every time the lid is closed a shot of soda bicarbonate is released. The bags can be bought--10 to a pack--and each bag holds 10-12 of my husband's extra large diapers. When the bag is full, the two sides are locked and this full bag goes into the garbage--no further handling needed. Here in Canada the diaper container costs around $30, the bags around $4 for 10. No smell. Great convenience

My local $ store also has perfumed diaper bags on roll. Great if you are travelling and only need a disposal bag a few times on your journey. If you are really stuck you could also try dog "poop" bags--$1 for 50. Each one will hold one extra large Depends--you can also get bio-degradable ones!! (I am not sure if the Depends is bio-degradable!!)

Be aware of using kitty litter--especially the clumping type--you will end up with a load of "concrete"-- almost impossible to remove!! (Those of us with cats will know what I am talking about!)
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You can't pussyfoot around this. Incontinence is just a part of getting older, nobody escapes it. Start off, There is a problem I want to help. Emphasize how much you like and admire her, and don't want this to harm your relationship. . In a few words, state that you smell urine, and you are concerned for her health. . Be matter of fact, calm, and supportive. Listen to what she says. If she is very embarassed, back off give her a few days. Offer help, whatever you are willing to give. Keep it warm, caring humorous.

Loss of smell is an early warning sign of Parkinson's. My Dad can't smell at all. You're doing the right thing. Have courage and just do it.
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Lisaluv - It sounds like your mom has a UTI with this behavior. Have that checked first before it gets too bad. My mother was acting the same way and she is a refined Christian lady. She was crying and begging to go home (she lives with me.) When I asked her if she wanted to go back to her home in TN she said no that's not home anymore. GA is home and she wanted to go back. She was home when all of this was going on. When the UTI was cleared up she told me about a strange dream of being a little girl and living in a house with women who fixed her meals and helped her into bed. She said they were nice, but she just wanted to go home and cried to go home. The dream was of me and her caregiver. She acted as though she was a different person during the UTI problem. She didn't recognize me during that time either. When I told her bye and left for work, she said "nice to have met you". She's pretty much normal now that that's cleared up. She still gets confused, but not completely wackado.
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Oh the main point is that the UTI makes the urine smell bad.
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Is having a bad urine smell, normal? I mean if I go camping I smell from not bathing, but I don't have a UTI. I'm jist wondering if the lady needs to wash more carefully down there. She may have been used to only 2x a week, now that she wear Depends she must wash daily (and after a BM or any leaks).
But normal urine doesn't really have any odor, right? Just with diabetes, or sslightly dehydrated?
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It's my understanding that with dehydration there is a stronger smell. I notice that myself, and have been trying to drink more water, not an easy habit to get into if one wasn't much of a water drinker :(
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Six words: Dekor Plus Hands Free Diaper Pail. Worth every penny. While it obviously doesn't address all the myriad ways smells occur, it has dramatically improved my Dad's bedroom environment. Their special bags are worth it as well.
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My Mom is 90 and she wears diapers, and the smell is overwhelming. I got a pail with a lid for her to put the diapers in but she doesn't always do it because she can't smell it. It is so repulsive to me but don't want to hurt her feelings and just straight up tell her that the smell is overwhelmingly offensive..anyone have any suggestions?
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Dear Jessie,

I know its not easy. With my own dad, I would empty any diapers in the waste basket every night. I would line the waste basket with extra bags, so if he wanted to he could bag them if I was not home yet. It is tough. Or maybe try a diaper genie to conceal the smell.
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Jessieo
You may want to start another thread as this is three years old. My mom has lost her sense of smell and I had a hard time telling her that her pads were stinking up her apartment. Finally, whenever I visited I started taking out her bathroom garbage as I left, saying "you should really take this to the trash every day". Several times I mentioned that as we get older we loose our sense of smell. Finally, when she went to visit my brother I brought over several large ziplock bags and told her "I thought you might like to bring these with you to put your pads in, in case you can't get them out to a garbage can. That way they won't smell while you're visiting." She finally got the hint and now when I walk into her apartment it doesn't smell horrible. It was hard to do but it was well worth it and I really don't think it hurt her feelings. It was harder on me than it was on her. Also, I hope when I'm old someone tells me:)
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