He is 85, she is 60ish. Their relationship started 10-12 yrs ago. He was working for her as a paid handyman. That evolved into a friendship where he was at her beck and call and she quit paying him. He was in love with her but she didn't reciprocate. So, he's been giving her his labor and knowledge of carpentry and running here and there doing what ever she wanted. In the past year, since he is slowing down, she has been borrowing his truck. She has taken it to San Diego from the Central Valley (8hr drive) 3 times to visit her son. (she wasn't sure her own Cadillac would make it). She dented the truck but denied doing it. So, she "borrows" it for weeks at a time. If he wants it back he has to go get it. Is this elder abuse? (One time while talking to her she started to say how much she "gets" from my dad but caught herself and said "we've been friends a long time". It just makes me sick to watch her use him this way.
If your dad doesn't want her to borrow the truck why does he keep lending it to her?
Their relationship works for them, but not for you. Dad is happy. Let it be.
As for this being elder abuse? Not even close.