Can someone please help me? I have the same problom except my grandpa still lives at home and I moved in so he wouldn't be alone and he's just so far gone it's hard to be here all the time I have to go to work and he doesn't sleep so he's up all night taking the sinks apart and anything he can get his hands on he says he wants something to do but I have no idea what I can leave for him to take apart and put back together that would help his need to take things apart? Any suggestions would b amazing thanks so much guys!!
He doesn't necessarily need to be in a nursing home but maybe a board and care facility where there are others for him to interact with
One man at my mom's memory care facility was the same way - loved to tinker with things and always worried about his equipment and tools and was looking for something to do
One night I gave him some peanuts in the shells and he sat and cracked them and separated them til he wire himself out
Sleep disturbances are very common in dementia, and can be very difficult to treat, but don't give up without trying. Talk to his doctor about how important this is.
An adult day health program may be perfect for Grampa while you are at work. It will provide lots of opportunities to interact with others and healthy activities. Most programs pick the participants up on a bus and bring them home at the end of the day. Hot lunch is provided. Look into this in your area. My husband went about 2 years. It was highly successful for him.
Maybe with help you can continue to be his primary caregiver for a while longer (if you want to). But people with dementia do usually wind up needing 24/7 care in a facility set up to deal with their impairments. The nature of the disease will dictate that, regardless of what the rest of the family wants.
I'm not sure of your family ties but if your parents are living I would hope they would care about your welfare more than your aunts and uncles or cousins
If this situation was set up initially to provide you with assistance i.e. Room and board in exchange for keeping an eye on grandpa then you have to speak up and let them know you are drowning
I know a young man who still has tremendous guilt as he was living with and caring for his grandfather- he turned his back for a couple of minutes during shower time and gpa fell broke his hip and died 2 months later in a nursing home
If you're not living with your family can you support yourself?
Now if money is an issue, Grandfather can sign up for Medicaid which has State programs where they would even pay for Grandfather's care in a nursing home. No money will come out of any of the relatives pockets.
Now, the big thing is trying to convince your family. Tell them what you told us, that you are falling asleep while driving to work because of the lack of sleep, and it's exhausting. I would add that you are scared you would get into an accident and hurt someone. If I were a parent, I would stand up and take notice, and make some changes.
PLEASE take care of yourself in this particular aspect. Continuing to drive without enough sleep puts you at serious risk. (And then who takes care of Grampa?) It also put other drivers and pedestrians at risk.
Not being able to sleep through the night is one of the reasons people wind up in care facilities. One person cannot care for such a person around the clock -- not and stay safe and sane.
I hope you can persuade your family to see the truth and make other arrangements. If not, take matters into your own hands. Inform your family in writing (so everyone gets the same message) that as of such-and-such a date you will be moving out. Give yourself enough time to find housing (maybe closer to your work!) and enough time for them to make other arrangements, but don't make the notice open-ended. Don't say "as soon as I find an apartment or as soon as you can make other arrangements. " Say "by June 30th" or a specific date that will work for you.
I hope it doesn't come to that. I hope gpa's doctor can help with the sleep disturbance. I hope you can find a good day program for him. Above all I hope your family wakes up to reality. But as a last resort, just quit. It is not only the right thing to do for yourself, but for your grandfather as well.