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It is perfectly legal for anyone to die at home. You will have to call 911 and the police and medical examiner will come to the home to determine if a crime has been committed If you think he is approaching the end of life and believe in hospice care, having him enrolled will simplify the process. All you have to do then is notify the hospice nurse who will come and confirm the death and call the funeral home of your choice. There is no cost for hospice to come to the home for an evaluation.. Your Dad's Dr will have to make the order for hospice but you are free to talk to them prior to that.
Renee, I am curious if someone told you that your Dad couldn't die at home being that you were questioning this. Or would you prefer that Dad be in the hospital or a nursing home, instead... which is understandable?
There's no reason why it should not be legal. People have been dying at home for about as long as creation has been around. Whether they die under hospice or just lay down and fall asleep for the last time, there's really no way to stop people from dying at home. This kind of thing will never be stopped because there will still be people dying in their sleep, so there's really no way to outlaw this kind of thing anyway. Even my former doctor came home one day and died in his chair sometime after a workout. He just sat down in his favorite chair and fell asleep and never awoke
Is it that a hospital is saying he can't go home? No hospital can keep a person there. Just make sure he is discharged by a doctor. If he is dying then you may want to involve hospice. It will make it easier on you and him comfortable.
If your Dad is at home and he is dying is he on Hospice or under a Doctors care? If he is on Hospice they will tell you that when he dies you should call hospice, they will send some one to your home, if someone is not there already, and they will make all the notifications necessary. They will call the doctor with the time of death and they will make the call to the funeral home that you will have to make arrangements with. If he is under a doctors care you will probably have to call 911. Please make sure if he has not died that you do have a DNR or POLST in place and present it to the paramedics when they arrive. Hospice will make this process much easier for you and for him. If he is in pain they can either transfer him to an inpatient unit where they can control pain. If he is comfortable now they can make sure you have medications that will help keep him pain free and comfortable. Please look at a pamphlet that you can read on line called "Crossing the Creek" very informative and may answer a lot of questions you may have. Please call a Hospice if you have not. they will help you
My sister and I had decided to follow Mom's wish of wanting to die at home. But after she had a stroke it wouldn't have mattered. But we fully intended to follow her wishes anyway. When the time came and we knew death was close, we panicked, told Daddy to get in the car and the two of us carried her to the car and rushed to the hospital. I was a nurse and still when it came time I couldn't do it. With the help of hospice I could have but we didn't have them. I hope you get hospice to come in and help you.
Thank you for sharing your experience Sondra. It worries me sometimes that people will feel guilty just - really, when it comes down to it - for wanting the best for their loved one and not being able to keep to the script. A script that was written long beforehand, and not under stress.
If you have hospice for a loved one then the death is expected and no police or medical examiner need come to the home. The hospice nurse and doctor follow the patient throughout this process and call the funeral home and everything needed when the time comes. I had my Mom in my home because she wanted this, and I just didn't like the indifference and intrusion, lack of privacy and dignity if felt like in the nursing homes. I sometimes felt the doctors and hospitals wanted to keep the business and send her to nursing homes for rehab while my Mom, 92 was clearing not progressing and telling everyone she was ready to pass on. Finally we said enough of this torture and a wonderful nurse at the rehab facility helped guide us to a hospice that was a tremendous help. Everyone is different in what they want...but hospice was a Godsend to us in fulfilling my Mom's wishes. People have been dying at home for thousands of years and hospice was a tremendous help with everything. And Medicare paid all of it.
Hi all - it's good to see this thread today (but a shame it takes so long for new Qs to circulate!)... it's so short who can tell, but I wonder if it's like what I have. My 85 y.o. Mom has had a bad cold (hope that's all it is) since Thurs., and when I call says she's not drinking water and not really eating because she 'doesn't feel like it.' Raging case of diabetes, and doesn't drink enough water as it is. She refused to let me come over to make her something 'so I don't catch it.' It has crossed my mind that if she were to die, will I be morally and/or legally responsible for not having called 911 or breaking into her house! She wouldn't answer the phone anymore since 4:00 p.m. yesterday, finally I went over at 9:00 p.m. and rang the doorbell then banged on the window where she watches TV and she yelled, 'Stop it, go away!' - so she even knew it was me! At least I know she was alive. Now I just have to leave it.
If it's a new low, I think I'd be tempted to contact APS or even maybe the police and ask for a welfare check. Certainly if she doesn't answer the phone today, or doesn't seem any better.
It's one thing to value your privacy and another not even to let someone in to watch tv with you if they really want to. If she gets fed up with your "badgering" her, as I expect she sees it, then could you ask her to call you at bedtime to let you know she's okay? That shouldn't be too much to ask, surely.
I believe I can understand why Renee is asking this question although I haven't gone through this experience myself. It has gotten to the point (at least in the US and probably several other countries) that there are so many laws and regulations for everything that it has become difficult to believe that any natural process can take place without some "authority" sanctioning it or playing an active role in it. One wonders if a permission slip (or "potty pass" as a friend likes to call it) is somehow required before a person is allowed to die, and then there is always the fear that some authority (or nosy busybody!) will accuse you of either criminal intent, intentional or unintentional negligence, or at least breaking some arcane law dating back to 1810 (or perhaps more likely 2010) and you'll spend half your life savings trying to prove everything was aboveboard. Perhaps it makes sense to have someone from hospice present (even if the patient is completely comfortable and you have no psychological issues with the impending death) simply to serve as a witness to help maintain your innocence (i.e., to "protect your assets" both figuratively and literally!).
Sorry to seem so cynical, but the media are full of strange legal issues and accusations in where the innocent are harassed and the criminals are protected, so almost nothing would surprise me.
Sorry--last sentence should have either been "where" or "in which" instead of a hybrid construction. It's not good to change the thought in the middle of typing the sentence!
It does exercise the mind, doesn't it, Jacobsonbob.
Macabre but true: a multiple choice question on a quiz show the other week - about "which of these three are you not allowed to do in the House of Lords?" - had the answer "C: cease breathing."
The House of Lords, consisting as it does mainly of superannuated politicians, a few bishops and high-ranking clergy of other faiths, and retired senior judges, has encountered many such "illegal" goings-on over the centuries. The culprits are swiftly removed from the main debating chamber and certified as having "ceased to breathe" only when they are safely outside.
One begins to have wild imaginings about how a person's passing away would have to be handled. Argh! No! You can't do that here! Nurses and relatives would be seen bundling people out of their beds and into cars for the mercy dash to the nearest approved centre...
jacobsonbon and countrymouse, *very* interesting and I'll bet that is what the poster was thinking about. cm, thank you so much for that input... sometimes she's been sick when not talking to me, so I'm not sure.. yesterday I asked her 'Is this what you normally do when you're sick,' and she said 'I don't know.' She seemed a little loopy, but also reluctant to talk bc her throat hurt so bad. I had to call the non-emergency line one time, firemen and EMTs came, thanks for brining that to mind. That embarrassed her (in a good way) a bit. May have do that again today. (Last time was Jan. 2016, so we won't be cranks to them - yet :)
I know my husband wanted to die at home and this is what happened. He was surrounded by his family. As for me, I want to die at home too. It would be horrible to allow me to die in a hospital or some facility. When I go, I want to be in the surroundings I am used to and loved - not anywhere else. All I did was call the funeral director who came within a short time and took my husband to the funeral home. Then later I had the funeral.
My Dad, 2 brothers and a nephew passed at home. That is often out of your control. Only one brother had hospice. I met the nurse once after he passed. She was the coldest excuse for a nurse I have ever met. My 85 year old Mother and I sat with him before and after he passed. It took the nurse 45 minutes to get there and she walked in, took one look and said flatly, "I can tell he's dead by looking at him. Don't need to listen to his heart. I knew this was coming but I didn't think it would be today." She took my sister in law to the kitchen to get meds and do paperwork. Couldn't wait. The ambulance took another hour at least. A truly horrible experience on so many levels. Dad, on the other hand, had no hospice, died at home with Mom holding his hand. The process was faster and my Dad and all of us were treated with respect and empathy. No hospice for my family. Not again
Why on earth would you want someone to die any place other than home. This is the end and for God's sake, let them die with dignity and peace in their own home surrounded by loved ones. I would not want someone to die in a hospital or other facility. To me, that is very sad.
There's no harm and nothing illegal about dying at home. If you die at home without medical documentation, by law, an autopsy must be done. If it's determined that abuse or neglect played a role in the death, authorities may (or may not) seek to prosecute someone. The wise thing to do is to get hospice involved. It's a free service and they won't do anything to prolong life. They will administer pain medication and anti-anxiety medication if needed. Some people have accused hospice of rushing their loved one's death. That would be hard to do if they are in your home as opposed to a hospice facility.
What I mean by "medical documentation" is medical records from the doctor that has been following the patient's condition. This is evidence that there *is a condition that leads to death. If an informal decision has been made to withhold treatment, you really need to get hospice involved.
Thank you for this question. I was with my dad when he passed at home, but we had hospice who was such a comfort in the end. My mom is 89 and wants to die at home, but is not in hospice. She is frail but doing alright. What would qualify her for hospice? I'm not sure how to word that. Does she have to be really sick?
Mom needs to have an illness that could cause her death within six months. Apart from failure of the heart ,lungs, liver, cancer and similar conditions, hospice also considers if she has had frequent trips to the ER or is consistently loosing weight. Any of these would qualify her. If they don't feel she is ready for hospice she may be suitable for palliative care and can later transfer to hospice. The best thing to do is contact hospice directly aand have them do an evaluation. If they feel they can accept her her Dr will then need to give approval. If she has not seen a Dr , I believe within the past six months she/he will need to see her. Sometimes the hospice medical director can make a visit and certify a patient if it is not possible to get to the Drs office. You were happy with the care your dad received so I would contact the same hospice. the sooner the better because condition can change very rapidly.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you think he is approaching the end of life and believe in hospice care, having him enrolled will simplify the process. All you have to do then is notify the hospice nurse who will come and confirm the death and call the funeral home of your choice. There is no cost for hospice to come to the home for an evaluation.. Your Dad's Dr will have to make the order for hospice but you are free to talk to them prior to that.
Next question: is this something you believe you will be able to deal with? That's important too.
If he is on Hospice they will tell you that when he dies you should call hospice, they will send some one to your home, if someone is not there already, and they will make all the notifications necessary. They will call the doctor with the time of death and they will make the call to the funeral home that you will have to make arrangements with.
If he is under a doctors care you will probably have to call 911. Please make sure if he has not died that you do have a DNR or POLST in place and present it to the paramedics when they arrive.
Hospice will make this process much easier for you and for him. If he is in pain they can either transfer him to an inpatient unit where they can control pain. If he is comfortable now they can make sure you have medications that will help keep him pain free and comfortable.
Please look at a pamphlet that you can read on line called "Crossing the Creek" very informative and may answer a lot of questions you may have.
Please call a Hospice if you have not. they will help you
But after she had a stroke it wouldn't have mattered. But we fully intended to follow her wishes anyway. When the time came and we knew death was close, we panicked, told Daddy to get in the car and the two of us carried her to the car and rushed to the hospital. I was a nurse and still when it came time I couldn't do it. With the help of hospice I could have but we didn't have them. I hope you get hospice to come in and help you.
Has she done this kind of thing before?
If it's a new low, I think I'd be tempted to contact APS or even maybe the police and ask for a welfare check. Certainly if she doesn't answer the phone today, or doesn't seem any better.
It's one thing to value your privacy and another not even to let someone in to watch tv with you if they really want to. If she gets fed up with your "badgering" her, as I expect she sees it, then could you ask her to call you at bedtime to let you know she's okay? That shouldn't be too much to ask, surely.
Sorry to seem so cynical, but the media are full of strange legal issues and accusations in where the innocent are harassed and the criminals are protected, so almost nothing would surprise me.
Macabre but true: a multiple choice question on a quiz show the other week - about "which of these three are you not allowed to do in the House of Lords?" - had the answer "C: cease breathing."
The House of Lords, consisting as it does mainly of superannuated politicians, a few bishops and high-ranking clergy of other faiths, and retired senior judges, has encountered many such "illegal" goings-on over the centuries. The culprits are swiftly removed from the main debating chamber and certified as having "ceased to breathe" only when they are safely outside.
One begins to have wild imaginings about how a person's passing away would have to be handled. Argh! No! You can't do that here! Nurses and relatives would be seen bundling people out of their beds and into cars for the mercy dash to the nearest approved centre...
Whatever would have happened to dignity in dying?
The ambulance took another hour at least. A truly horrible experience on so many levels.
Dad, on the other hand, had no hospice, died at home with Mom holding his hand. The process was faster and my Dad and all of us were treated with respect and empathy. No hospice for my family. Not again
What I mean by "medical documentation" is medical records from the doctor that has been following the patient's condition. This is evidence that there *is a condition that leads to death. If an informal decision has been made to withhold treatment, you really need to get hospice involved.
The best thing to do is contact hospice directly aand have them do an evaluation. If they feel they can accept her her Dr will then need to give approval. If she has not seen a Dr , I believe within the past six months she/he will need to see her. Sometimes the hospice medical director can make a visit and certify a patient if it is not possible to get to the Drs office.
You were happy with the care your dad received so I would contact the same hospice. the sooner the better because condition can change very rapidly.