My mom is 84 years old and leaving with my 47th year old sister whom is not married. My mom is the recipient of 3 monthly pensions, social security and 2 more foreign. My sister is not able to hold a steady job for too long for her own personal reasons therefore, most of the time she receive either unemployment funds or public assistances. It is fare that she is counting on our mom's money (which is not little) to conduct her life and her own personal spending like purchasing a second hand car which she once had and then sold because unable to financially survive and some time not having enough money to buy food. She is constantly complaining that she is paying a high rent and other things like paying for mom's life insurance and other necessary expenses but, as the other daughter, she never disclose any of this other expenses with me. What really upsets me, is that my mom, unaware of what is really going on and defending her, is not saying anything and never has any money in to her wallet even when I take her to her scheduled doctor's visits, she has no money to make her co-payment. It is very hard and difficult to have a normal financial conversation with my sister therefore, I was thinking of doing so with a legal mediator if there is one available. I have personal health issues my self and this is only making it worst, but I feel that she's going out of control putting herself, my mom, and I in a serious dangerus situation. Please help with any substantiated suggestions
Perhaps someone can set up such a situation for your mom and sister. I have a separate account that the check from my aunt goes into ... no one requires that ... but I want to keep the money separate. I don't want compensation for my care, but I don't want it to cost me money either.
Also, I have bills set up on automatic payment, as someone else mentioned. My sister and I share power of attorney. She doesn't question any of my decisions ... because she pretty much doesn't want to have to do it herself!
I don't think that purchasing a used car with your mom's money is abuse of her finances. Your sister clearly needs transportation to assist your mother.
I suggest that you try to care for your mom for awhile. It may give you fresh perspective.
Hugs, Corinne
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