She fell a couple of months ago and I gained access to all her accounts so I could pay her bills. She gave me access. However I have discovered she has accrued a considerable amount of debt. So I have been paying off her debt. I have been paying for about 400.00 of her expenses (cable, phone, 2 medic alert devices, cell phone) for years. I would like to taking over her finances without calling her incompetent. Oh and she has a reverse mortgage on her house. Still not sure why as it appears she should be able to live within her means (less what I pay). I feel the loan agent is a little shady as well.
Carol
A choice is what colour socks do you want to wear the red or the black
A decision is being able to explain the choice and the reason for it and the outcomes (where applicable) of it So I want to wear the red ones because they contrast nicely with my outfit and are thinner and the shoes I want to wear are on the small side and if wear the black ones my toes will feel squashed.
Once you have POA you need to register it with all institutions and that will be a royal pain in the arse let me tell you - Banks are not terribly helpful
OR as OhJude said: being a POA is about you acting on her behalf. Get her to allow you that :)
Since you already have access to her accounts it should be simple to set up automatic bill payments or do them with online banking, if she finds the actual bills confusing you could have them sent to your house or just go paperless.
Restricting her ability to overspend can be more of a problem, but you could make sure her credit cards have a low limit and place the bulk of her funds in less liquid investments. Have you had a frank chat with her about her finances? Some people haven't a clue how to live within their means, and they don't have to be elderly either!
Some impairment but still be competent to give you the poa.
When we went to sell mom's house with the 3 year old poa the title company wanted either a new poa (which would have thrown mom into a tailspin at that point)or Dr's note saying when she signed it she was competent. Having a local lawyer drawing up the original was a help since she was fine when it was signed and her doc attested to that, but if I had to do it again I would have the Dr's note made when we signed it.
I suppose they could see it as a money spinning exercise but surely not - they wouldn't ever do that now would they?!!!!!!!
The process of completely taking over his finances was long and ugly. In the end, I put him on a strictly cash basis, essentially giving him an allowance which is doled out in installments, four times a week. It's been wonderful! He seems to be able to manage just fine with a set amount of cash. He can understand it so much better than the confusion of credit or debit cards, which he always swore he didn't use nearly as much as he did.
In between financial chaos and the newer 'all cash' solution, I tried a debit card called True Link. It really is a terrific idea and, I believe, would be just the ticket for many seniors with dementia. My dad just couldn't grasp how it ran out of money in the same way as he can when his cash runs low. I do recommend you give True Link a try though. It could be a good first step in getting your mom back on a good path, while still giving her control.
There are several helpful answers in this post...see those with a large number of indications that the post was helpful...I will add the following consideration:
Be careful about adding your name as a co-applicant on loans or credit cards as that makes you liable for the debts. I was surprised to learn when my husband and I applied for a mortgage loan that her credit card showed up on my credit report because she added me as an authorized user, even though the card is in her name!
2.