Dad moved in a couple months ago, Mom died 11 months ago. Before that they were always in dire straights with money, bankruptcy, courts, legal notices, over extending... I was always aware of their situation and helped them out on occasion. They never saved for retirement, spent their way and never saved. Dad was working at 78 right up until he moved in with me. He has SSI and about $900 a month in bill. Leaving him with a little left over for spending. I worked out his budget and gave it to him and told him "you have $20 a day basically to cover your gas, food dog food and every thing else." I am not being nasty but that is reality. I run my business, yes I do make mistakes but I do all my own bills etc. My wife and I have savings which we want to hold on to. He has never had to worry about bill because mom took care of it all. So here is my issue, do I let him manage his money? He wont open mail at times or lets it sit there to ignore, bill are late get over drafted like this month 3 times. Or do I take his bills over and give him weekly money. He and I are going on a trip this week (planned after mom died). I have been saving for it. He hasn't even thought about the cost, offer to pay anything. He gave me a gas card (I gave him for Christmas) so I will use that for the gas. His idea of having money is "I still have checks or I still have a debit card". Drove mom crazy. Do I become the adult here? I gave him a credit card in my name which I will take back this week on the trip. I really don't want him becoming dependent on me, that wasn't the plan when he moved in but in order to not waste money on bounced checks and me having to watch the money every day it drives me crazy! Am I really crazy here?
Going forward, it DOES seem like he needs someone to take over his money management. Especially because at some point he's going to have to do a Medicaid application and they are going to want to know where every penny went. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT give him a credit card, pay his bills or fund whatever his spending addiction is. Some people seem to substitute "things" for love, or the rush and experience of having a salesperson be nice to them for more sustainable relationships. It's sad to see it in action.
Oh, and I'd just pop for the trip. He gave you life after all. *WinkWink*