Hi. I've been in a way taking care of my grandmother when I was still in high school and it's been very trying and hard for me for the past 6 years now. I've since graduated but since then life has been going down hill with her. She was hospitalized about the same time this year for not taking her medicine as well as a head injury due to her not eating for 2 weeks and since then she has developed very odd sense of logic. She's been saying the cold air makes her sweat as well as being in denial about having a blood disorder. She has no dementia since she was tested twice last year for each time she was in the hospital but she has been diagnosed with moderate depression and hypothyroidism. Lately we've been clashing about things. She has been holding the past inside and lashing out on me. To make matters worse her two sons refuses to help me since they only made matters worse by how they treated her. I've went through some agencies and instead of getting help I was getting put down for not having a job nor a driver's license. I can't go for so far without her saying no to it. I'm only 20 years old and I've been taking care of her since the 8th grade and I feel I'm way over my head. If anyone could point me in the right direction it would be appreciated. I don't want to abandon her but she's pushing me away and putting me down. I can't take for so much of her mood swings and anger that appear from her remembering the past. I've tried to talk to her but she refuses to open up. I tried to get her to talk to her doctors *psychiatrist and her primary care* and she still will not see them, in fear she will be put into a nursing home as she told me. I just don't know what else to do. I've tried almost everything and it seems she will not allow me to work full time either. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I feel trapped in a way and I would want to be out but I feel I'm in a fork in the road.
I will sit down with her as she cools down. She yelled at me again today over the same thing. I feel that she does use some things as a way of saying "No you can't leave me yet" and acts like a spoiled child. I will try to see if a good friend can help me set some time apart and help me get into school and perhaps a part time job that can help me with a one room place somewhere. I love her very much but it kills me to have these run ins with her. Thank you to both you for helping me I will see if I can get to school or get a job to have someone come out to check on her weekly and I will stay in contact with her so she won't feel that I abandoned her. But she has to become fully independent on her own. I know it will take time but I feel it is time I move on with my life and keep a eye on her as well but not to care for her as I am doing I feel a bit too much. Since the only I can not do is drive but I do mostly everything while she watch tv and do her puzzles and drive somewhere, where I do her shopping since her arthritis keeps her from being on her feet for so long. Thank you again.