I am wondering if there is a life after for emotionally damaged daughters of a Narcissistic mother? I have been reading and answering a few of the question's on here on this order, but I haven't seen quite this one yet? Some of you know a bit about me so I won't repeat much. QUESTION: All the many decades of dealing with mom and the 21 year's I spent with her after her husband passed away, me with a nervous break-down from it all to say the least. Is there any hope of getting my life back somewhat? I used to be such a softy in heart, tender and all. I cried about everything, new borns, weddings, graduations, etc. Now, I am left with no emotions. For the first time there are no tears, no laughter, no surprise, not much of any emotions. You would say I have become hard hearted. Not to the extent of not seeing to it mother is cared for now by her 3 caregivers. Just to the extent I feel dead. Is there hope of becoming me again?
Not whining ~ just needing to know.
God Bless All and Thank You
Cat
You can't make yourself feel happy if you aren't happy. As long as you are in this low spot, you aren't going to be happy. I think you've made the right move to get away from mom. That's a gold star for you. Don't hold your breath waiting for an apology, you recognize that - gold star #2. Confronting her probably isn't going to give the answer you want. When I confronted my mom about how she had treated me her answer was she'd never done anything wrong and I was mentally ill. Gee thanks mom for the understanding. So I never broached that subject again. She didn't have a clue because narcissists don't care how others feel.
I think you need to give yourself time. You didn't get to this point overnight and it'll take time to bring yourself up to better times. If it doesn't get better with time, maybe more counseling is in order. If you need nerve meds and this doc won't give them to you, maybe you can find another doc. When you have these kinds of issues, meds can sometimes take a long time to be of help. There is help out for you, it's just finding it. Don't give up! Each day try to find one thing that brings happiness, no matter how small. It'll probably feel so good, you will be motivated to add to the list.
Stay strong, keep mom at arm's length. She's toxic, sucks out all the joy, uses you...do not let her. They always say nobody can take advantage of you if you don't let them. It's true. And by removing herself, YOU have won, not your mom. As sad as it is to write, my mom did me a favor by disowning me. It's even sadder to say that I don't miss her since she died. I'll never understand her; I just know I don't want to be like her.
Of course today we are going to the Dr., so I cannot avoid her totally. If I could drive after taking my nerve pills I would totally pop one. But, I know that would be such a bad idea. I'll look forward to getting this day over with and not having to see her again for a while. So sad, we used to be very close.
Again, thank you very much, you have been helpful.
Cat