& receives less than 650.00 a month from social security. Her social security is the only source of income she receives. I have been retired now for 13 months and my only source of income is social security also. My husband receives social security and also a pension monthly. We struggle each month to make ends meet. We supply all her food, utilities and a home we 3 live in. I am so stressed out, resentful and depressed and I have no idea where to seek help. There is a sibling but will not take any responsibility at all. Never has. My home is the only place she has.
Also, I am surprised that your Mother-in-law didn't get part of her husband's pension, and/or alimony. It's probably is too late to petition the Court for this money.
I whole heartedly agree with Jeannegibbs, it is not her decision, it is your decision. I hope you can find some outside agency that can help and get some peace of mind for yourself.
She will not consider any type of housing.
Those two statements don't go together, you know. You have the power. She doesn't get to choose what she will and will not consider.
Do you know the expression: "Beggars can't be choosers" ? It applies to exactly this situation.
Your MIL married at 16, lived with her husband 52 years and then moved in with you. She has never been on her own in her adult life. It is a terrifying concept. I can fully understand why she doesn't even want to consider it. But if she didn't have a son and daughter-in-law willing to take her in, she would have had to consider it, wouldn't she? Beggars can't be choosers.
Tell us, is it primarily the cost burden that is getting you down. Or are there other issues that make you "so stressed out, resentful and depressed?" If MIL could pay you, would that make things OK? What does your husband feel about the situation?
If I were you I would call your county's social services department and ask for a needs assessment for your mother in law. She probably doesn't need a caretaker, etc. but she does need help with her medical expenses. I know that diabetes can be extremely expensive to treat. Out of $600 she doesn't even have enough to buy food or pay for shelter. Might she be able to get food stamps? There may be a number of programs MIL could benefit financially from. The goal would be to get her into a situation where she is able to pay you for room and board.
If that happened, would MIL living with you be swell? Or are there other issues?
Does she have any medical issues? Impairments? Why did Mom move in with you in the first place? For example, did she consider subsidized senior housing?
Sorry to respond with questions, but this information will help us be more specific in our answers.