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My almost 80-year-old mother will be losing her current place of living in October. Right now she rents a small studio space in an attachment of someone’s home. Her sister lives right by her and is able to assist her. My mom now feels ready for assisted living, however has been at the stage for help for awhile now. She seems to have a major cognitive decline but only has SS as income and doesn’t qualify for Medicaid, only Medicare. I am a 30 year old SAHM with no income myself and my husbands isn’t enough to support my mother as well. Her SS income isn’t enough for most apartments here. I’m not sure what to do and have looked online but we don’t seem to have many options. Low income housing has a 2-3 year wait list as well.

You write: "Low income housing has a 2-3 year wait list as well." Apply anyway. I know of a case where someone was told that there was a 7 year waiting list for public/senior housing in her area. Within SIX months, this person was accepted into a residence. These public housing places have lots of criteria that everyone doesn't meet, and some people are accepted and then turn down the apartment that's available (for one reason or another). Just make sure that you have ALL the paperwork available for them and make it as easy to read/decipher as possible. For example, if you've got 30 pages, write at the top of each page: "1/30, 2/30", etc. And, of course, make a copy of everything you send them. Good luck!
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Reply to Christine44
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XenaJada Jun 10, 2024
I cannot stress enough to MAKE EXTRA COPIES! Govt agencies are notorious for losing paperwork.
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Go To Your Local Housing authority and find out about HUD senior apartments or several Housing authorities near By .
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Reply to KNance72
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HUD has senior apartments. They ask for 30% of a persons monthly income. Heat is included. See if youcan find one of these and sign her up. See if your State has Medicaid wavers.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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This is a really tough part of aging. No money. Apply for every HUD apartment. You never know how quick it might work out, especially if she will take first available. I would also consider getting her on waiting lists for housing that are outside of her immediate due to the urgency of the situation.

Does she have any issues that would make a nursing home a viable solution? She would likely qualify for LTC Medicaid to pay for most of her stay there, after they apply most of her soc sec check.

Is living with her sister an option, at least until an apartment comes up? I agree with others - do not take her in. My mom lived with me for 7 years and it was HARD and so much drama getting her into assisted living. I wish I knew then what I know now because I would have done it ALLLLL so much differently!

Good luck.
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Reply to againx100
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Even if your husband was a multimillionaire, it would not be either of your responsibilities to pay for a parent.

Do not move her into your home, even “temporarily”, for any reason.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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In my area Medicaid doesn’t pay for assisted living, they only pay for skilled nursing homes.

Was your dad a veteran? If so, see if your mom will qualify for assistance.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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SAHM = Stay At Home Mom, correct?

Others on this forum have experience with elder group homes, which seem to be more affordable, but not available in every state or county.

In the absence of low-income housing solution -- then you can consider caring for her in your home if you have room and using her SS income to cover the cost. I strongly recomment a written care contract, and also (if your Mom is cognitively able) to have her assign you are her PoA. Do not move her in without having this legal authority to manage things for her.

This would be a very last resort option. If she moves away from her sister, who will be able to check on her in a new apartment (that is not AL)?

If you get her into low-income housing, she will need social services for that county to assess her for in-home needs and service options. This, plus her sister (who I'm hoping is younger, and willing) may be a solution for a while. But eventually she will need more care than this to keep her safe. Eventually she will need MC and low-income housing will definitely be inappropriate/insufficient care for her. Even if she succesfully moves, she has other near-future issues to be solved. Talk to social services.
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Reply to Geaton777
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sp196902 Jun 10, 2024
"In the absence of low-income housing solution -- then you can consider caring for her in your home if you have room and using her SS income to cover the cost." Really bad advice. Hopefully the OP does not go this route.
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