Waiting for negative test results to re enter memory care. He is so forceful and convincing on the phone you wouldn’t think he was demented. These calls leave me emotionally drained. I now block calls and don’t want to communicate. Is not communicating harmful to dementia patient?
You are right in blocking his calls. Obviously, communicating with him is very harmful to your mental health. As for him, since he has memory problem, he won't remember if he talks or not talks to you. I doubt it can do any more harm than what his dementia is doing to him.
Don't feel guilty. Keep his calls blocked as long as you need.
So all in all... we're a bit too much in the dark to comment.
In terms of communication, though, I should have thought the best thing to do would be to liaise closely with the staff managing his care in the rehab unit. That way, you can stay informed about his mental, physical and emotional condition without undergoing the stress of his ranting at you.
Your not communicating with him directly shouldn't be harmful to him as long as those caring for him are aware of his needs, including for example for reassurance and clear explanations about what is happening right now. Are you confident that they will be taking good care of him?
Continue to let the calls go to voice mail. Select ONE time of day to call your LO and stick to that schedule. Listen to what he has to say and offer your sorrow and condolences for the situation at hand. Remind him he'll be leaving soon, and that his doctor is 'working on his release.'
That is ALL you can do. You ask if no communication is harmful to a dementia patient. A better question to ask is this: is all this communication from a dementia patient harmful to YOU. We all have a tendency to think ONLY of the elder when in reality, there are others to consider as well. Your LO is not the only one suffering here; you are too. The upside of dementia is that he will probably forget that many of his calls went to voice mail to begin with, and be perfectly fine with the one call a day rule. It's YOU that has to come to terms with that boundary.
Good luck!