Hello - I'm located in CA and my 75 y/o mother suffered a pretty severe stroke in March 2021 which left her at a two person assist, incontinent and requires occasional bolus feedings. My mom has been through hell and moved approximately six times in the last year where we tried so hard to find appropriate care. Due to the severity of the stroke as well as her age (ageism at it's finest), a lot of providers wouldn't take any chances on helping her last year. Covid has also not made it easy for her at all as medical staff prioritize these patients over someone that has had a stroke/heart attack. This has all put her progression behind including two additional hospital stays.
After going through these traumatic experiences (there's a lot of details here), we decided to bring her home in October 2021. I won't tell you it's easy but luckily we've hired a caretaking agency to help during the day which allows our family to work. She's currently in outpatient therapy for PT, OT and ST and making small improvements (which is way more than where we were five months ago where we were having end of life discussions due to her shutting off/not eating after I placed her in a skilled nursing facility).
For context, we're funding the caregiving through a private LTC policy but it's not being managed in the way that my siblings and I would like it too. My 76 y/o father is very stubborn, problematic/combative with his own health issues including not managing his diabetes, eye bleeding/semi-blindness but is mobile, otherwise. He won't let us touch the private policy because I believe it's the one thing he thinks he can manage - but he keeps falling behind in payments/claim submissions which cause me to constantly have to follow up.
I'm trying to find other sources of income outside of this option for both my parents. I've looked into a few additional programs for them already. My mom was a teacher for 32 years and retired in 2002. I tried looking into getting her enrolled into the LTC CalPers program they're no longer accepting open enrollment due to a pending lawsuit from the state of CA because of their annual fees rate increases. Additionally, my dad is a Vietnam veteran and I also tried looking into the VA Aid & Assistance program. Unfortunately, because they look at the combined household income (my parents are married) they stated that my parents make too much to be covered by their program.
Does anyone else know of any programs offered for veterans/retired teachers? Or have any funding suggestions? I'm trying to gather as much info on LTC policies as possible. Thank you so much.
The problem, it seems, is how that policy is being utilized. Who has power of attorney for mom?
If it's dad, is she competent to change it to one of you so that you can manage her finances?