that you caregiver for the last 8 yrs? I just get really down sometimes. I miss having my own place for myself and 15 yr. Old son. My space & privacy is non-existent. I am on ,2 antidepressants daily. I manage o.k. for most part. It's just difficult going thru life not being as happy, and at peace the way you know you could be. I know mom appreciate me and all I do, but don't think she gets the true gravity of the constant sacrifices i have made, for her basically. 8 years is a big portion of my life. Not getting any younger over here! Just trying to make it, and work thru the zillion emotions it brings with it. Sure some of you relate. If so, drop a comment. What is the most frustrating part of caregiving for You?!?? I'd love to hear! Thanks for listening.
Mom doesn't want to spend any money, I'm expected to just be the 24 /7 caregiver. When I hire someone for an afternoon off once a week, I get lots of grief from her. At this point she has digressed to where she doesn't really understand things but for the last years. She did, pouring over the bank stAtements like the IRS! I'm just venting, cause as I'm sure you long termers have experienced the isolation of this job. Friends give up on asking you out...and soon forget you. Including boyfriend, which at my age was a miracle in itself... But he's moved on...
So yeah, anger depression, got fat (but took off 32 pounds another miracle, and I'm writing an ebook about it). Gave up my career as a teacher, afraid I'm going to be too old to get hired back...anywhere. So yes anger depression....and still some soft hearted love manages to come through. Even for a mother that was pretty mean to me her whole life. I have an older half brother who telephones but won't come to visit or help...guess he felt the mean mom sting too. I hate to say this, but since I'm using this rambling post to vent...it is a relief that my mom is passing into dementia stage lately. Much calmer, no fights over money. But now she is physically much harder to care for as she is no longer mobile. Doctor said it may be time for Hospice but Mom scared to death of the very word as my dad only lasted 2 weeks at home with hospice and she thinks they are murderers...oh forgot that, she also thinks IAm trying to murder her....haven't heard that accusation in a couple of weeks now....very hurtful when you are giving your life for someone, no? And she has sporadically thought that for many years now...perhaps she's always been undiagnosed paranoid. What do we do? Carry on I guess. And vent on here once in awhile.
In light of the dementia, I wouldn't expect her to be able to fully process the situation, what you are doing or show appreciation, though, we all need a little encouragement once in awhile. I learned to not expect that from my cousin, though, she does seem grateful for little things that I do like bringing her treats to her Memory Care unit. Before she was in AL, I had to attend to most all of her needs, plus, run my own business. That didn't work long term, but she didn't seem to notice. She just thought I could be by her side all night and day. I'm not sure how much of it was do to memory loss though.
Ref. your dissatisfaction with her medication regimen.
Do you have your mom's Healthcare POA? Are you handling her medical decisions yet? If the doctors and medications are not in line with her wishes, then why not explore if they are necessary? A friend of my mother's recently went to a new doctor who was shocked at all the different meds she was taking. He wanted to cut out half of them, gradually, keeping her on what was necessary for her physical and mental health.