FIL just got home from a two week vacation with his eldest son. We got reports that FIL had no trouble walking, going up and down stairs, and didn't use his rollator. BIL rented a wheelchair for longer strolls. FIL had his own room but, other than that, he was always around the family. At home, FIL normally is depressed, anxious, unsteady, wobbly, prone to furniture surfing, and using a wide stance because he won't use his rollator inside his indy living apartment. He does use it when he goes out. Two weeks seems like a very long time to keep up an act especially if FIL truly has something physically wrong with him although nothing shows up on MRIs or CT scans.
Guestshopadmin, it never occurred to me that my FIL could be acting the way he does when he's home because he's made himself that way. And I hadn't heard of "servant mentality" before. My husband and I are caregivers for his dad and he certainly acts the part of the wobbly, needy old man with us. But I can't imagine he actually likes it.
To answer your questions, jeannegibbs: How is his memory? Terrible.
Any sleep disturbances? None that I know of.
Any hallucinations or delusions? No.
Was he given a complete evaluation by the neurologist? I don't know what a complete evaluation means in his case because his chief complaint is about loss of balance. Neurologist ruled out vertigo and scans ruled out stroke. Another poster suggested we get him a PET Scan and, next time he lands in the ER, that's what I'm asking about.
How is his memory? Any sleep disturbances? Any hallucinations or delusions? Was he given a complete evaluation by the neurologist?
I suspect it was the perception of his son that was a little off, and not an actual improvement in FIL.
FIL is visiting eldest son next month at his home but only for a weekend to go to a party. It's a 2000 mile trip, which would be a long trip for anyone. I asked why FIL isn't staying longer and was told eldest BIL won't take time off from work. So, perhaps BIL did see his father struggling during vacation and won't take time off because he doesn't want to deal with it.
That's an interesting idea, RoseyKat, that BIL sees his dad through rose colored glasses to make himself seem more important. BIL visits a once or twice a year for a day or two. This was the longest he's spent with his dad in more than a decade. BIL regularly says things like "Let me know how I can help" to which my husband and I reply "Visit your father!"
Now that we know FIL does so well around BIL, hubby and I are planning on asking eldest brother to invite his dad to his home for several weeks! If BIL is falsely reporting, that ought to snap him into reality real quick. And if FIL is showtiming, so be it! Acting as if he is happy and not a fall risk is better than how he acts when he's home.
I wonder if FIL were to get PT in his home if it would help? His dr could order it.