Father gone for 20+ years, a one and done heart attack. Disabled spouse for 15 years who has helped in past with caregiving for my mother but recent changes had him out of the loop. Last week MiL going downhill fast. Can’t be there for her to fill the gap her son leaves because of his health and distance he has to travel to be there for her and step-dad with health problems. Estranged from her daughter (my SIL). About to transition my mother into AL (91, dementia, major short-term memory loss, mobility VERY rough). Looking for other onlies who sometimes wish they were not, lol.
You do the best you can and that is it. Find them a safe place to be but thinking you can be all to them is just plain crazy. You deserve a life too.
One thing at a time. Get your mother settled into AL then help you in laws do the same if they are inclined to go. If they insist on staying put it is up to them to figure out how their needs will be met.....and Bellerose63 will take care of us is not an option.
When end I was growing up, I always wanted a big brother. But having been part of this strange family for 44 years, I sure changed my mind. I rely on myself and that’s the I want it.