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I am a retired nurse and dealing with my husband. We got the news about 4 years ago. I am looking for ways to help him, all he wants to do is stay in bed. I have to say, I was a medical surgery nurse and worked on the floor so had very little time with people that have Alzheimer. Open to all the help I can get. I am trying to keep him at home with me.

Bless you for wanting to keep your husband at home with you as long as you can.
Have you looked into having him go to an Adult Daycare Center in your area for perhaps a few days a week?
They will give him breakfast, lunch, and a snack and have all kinds of entertainment to keep him busy. Many also offer a spa day where they will give your husband a shower, cut his hair and trim his beard or shave him if needed.
And you can have him there up to 5 days a week and 8 hours a day. Of course there is a charge, but worth every penny.
At least that would give him something to do on a few days, plus it would give you a break to do things that you enjoy or just need to. And then if he wants to stay in bed the rest of the days, so be it.
Alzheimer's as you know is the slowest progressing of all the dementias, so it can go on for quite a while yet, so please make sure that you're taking good care of yourself, so you can stay strong and healthy for the journey.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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cover9339 Sep 26, 2024
A wonderful place had this. Unfortunately, it was discontinued due to funding.

Hopefully this is not going to be the trend at other places.
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You say he only wants to stay in bed. That may just be him. He may just be an at home guy. Can he/would he like any easy games such as Chutes and Ladders? Would he enjoy a cut and paste with photographs of things you did together put in a scrapbook?Can you read to him or has he not enough attention for that? Any fun movies the two of you can watch? Is he a fix it guy so you could ask for help folking laundry, helping you cook or is that more trouble than it's worth.

I think what I am saying here is that, from a brief walk to gardening, to helping you, not knowing your hubby and his history makes it hard to me to know if he would enjoy a game, puzzle, walk, or planting herbs for the windowsill. I don't know him. I love that you are intent on keeping him home. Tell me about what YOU YOURSELF enjoy doing?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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strong05, one thing I noticed with my parents as they started to age, is that they could go back in time and remember so many different things. I was so amazed, as here I couldn't remember what I had for lunch yesterday.


Oh how I wish they were still around when I started doing the family trees. The wealth of information they could have given me. I found myself with so many photos of people I cannot identify.


Wonder if your hubby would like doing that? I don't know if he can still use a computer, if yes, Ancestry.com has a wonderful site. If no, and this sparks your interest, it can keep you both busy for years. I found cousins from both sides of my family who were interested, and that brought us even closer (we all live out-of-state). Then their children started to get interested.
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Reply to freqflyer
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One of my fondest memories of Mom with alzheimers is simply eating breakfast.

We had the same hot breakfast every morning: eggs, bacon and/or gluten free sausage,
gluten free toast with butter and a touch of jam, and a bowl of fruit always including blueberries.
Mom is a celiac so she got the gluten free items. The eggs and blueberries in the fruit
are supposed to be some of the better items for the brain. We added some coconut oil
to the eggs when they were cooking as it is supposed to be good for the brain.

To conclude--I'd say try to get into a routine. In our world breakfast was a cheerful way
to start the day. Try to lock into some activities that your husband can still do that make him feel needed and important. These can be things like picking up pine cones outside. Raking leaves outside, folding laundry, dry swiffering the floors inside etc.

At some point we had a physical therapist out to the house for some reason which I don't recall. He gave Mom range of motion exercises. We worked on these also and Mom was good at doing them and also counting 1, 2, 3 etc. She was particularly good at holding onto the kitchen counter and doing squats and counting.

I tried to make breakfast fun and festive and it always smelled good. She didn't eat a lot at dinner but she always had a hearty breakfast.

Mom loved walking outside so she got a walk with her dog after breakfast and after lunch.

She did sleep a lot during the day. She would sleep in her chair.

Mom also liked doing chores. She put the silverware away into the silverware drawer.
If we handwashed things she dried everything. She also dry swiffered the floors. She
wiped down the kitchen counters with a wet rag. She also regularly folded laundry.

She would pickup pine cones in the yard and put them in a bucket.

Mom's breakfast was a great start to the day. I knew I would be eventually be selling the house
so I frequently had contractors out at the house to patch drywall and paint room to room.
Once the bacon was cooking I could tell the contractors were envious of Mom's hot breakfast.

Even with all of these activities Mom still napped a lot during the day in her chair for many, many years.
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