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My Mother is scared to go off alone.

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I believe that when the body dies~the Essence, the Spirit of which I believe we all are, is the kindest, the gentlest of ALL ANGELS~to be sent to One at such a time~by a LOVING INFINITE ONE~
YOUR MOM WILL BE IN WONDERFUL COMPANY. I have lost my 2 daughter's bodies...I FEEL THEM CONSTANTLY.
Be there, love her & KNOW neither of you are alone.
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I think what the ill person believes is the real issue. If your mother believes that she'll be guided, reinforce that belief. When she's worried about dying, I think it's more important to give her comfort. Other than those who've been successfully resuscitated, I'm not sure anyone really knows what an individual experiences during those last moments. So just make your mom feel safe if you can.
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Reality?
I think not....
One's perception is what IS.
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Im not religious so no I personally don't but my mum believes and her view would be this:
John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”
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as my mother was dying , just before she was medicated , she was clamoring for her brother johnny as tho he were in the room with her . if someone was actually there to accompany her youd think it would have been her deceased husband of 55 yrs . i believe her brain was shutting down ( dying ) and only her 70 + year old childhood memories still existed . i gave her the first dose of oral comfort meds and she looked at me as tho i was helping her and she trusted me but not much real recognition there . ill always believe that we watched her brain die , then other organs shut down from lack of brain signals . perhaps the memory bank shut down and only the reptile brain remained . either way she had a deepseated trust in her brother johnny ..
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Aunt Lottie was reaching for an invisible Uncle Julius, to dance with him. I believe they are still dancing, somewhere. Why not? Ask your angel to guide you. Ask those who went before, to open the door and welcome her. Why not? Ask her what she dreams. Dreams of a long hallway mean the journey is still unfinished. Visits from the other side mean the door is open, messages are being sent. You must be willing to receive them.
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A friend's husband saw his parents (who had been gone many years) standing at the doorway with suitcases. The family traveled extensively throughout the world. He took this as they were there to take him on another adventure. He heard his Mother singing lullabies to him each night for the last week. She said her husband was more relaxed once these "angels" appeared and it gave her great comfort to know his beloved parents were waiting for him.
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Dear Luckylu - It doesn't really matter what we may think. It's what your mom thinks that matters; she's the one dying. My mom wouldn't really talk about it the final days, she couldn't speak. But watching her, I realized that scared, or not - it was of great comfort to have familiar things nearby. So I would be sure that certain 'night lights' were on, etc. Your bio indicates that she is 'at home' ; not a facility and that you may not be prepared to say 'good bye'.

You have a tough road ahead dear one. If she's already indicated that she is frightened, you're going to have to push your own fears aside. If she's afraid of being alone, tell her she won't be. You'll be there. There are a lot more conversations ahead of you. What you need to say and do to help her will become more clear as time passes. Stay with us.
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Mom died overnight...in her sleep. As I tucked her in that night she said, "Gladys!!" sounding rejuvenated and happy. (Gladys was mom's sister who died 15 years before. "Gladys!! Is it really you?? GOODIE! GOODIE! GOODIE!"

Make of that what you will. Mom died peacefully in her sleep that night. I know what I make of it.

Hugs to you both.
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This is from the 90's I think, but the scene has stayed with me. 3rd Rock From the Sun, a very funny moment, but a touching eulogy.
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Thank you Maggie! I've heard other similar stories & was hoping this would happen. But it didn't. Maybe mother was holding out on me - again :)
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I can only hope and pray so. Just went to a funeral today and I know it gave great joy and comfort to the parents of this young man that 2 days before he passed he told them the best thing that had come out of his illness is that he was closer to God than ever before in his life. He felt his presence around him. I do have faith and God forbid it's anytime soon but when I do leave this earth I will miss those I love, however I won't be afraid because I know there is something so much better waiting. I'm sorry your mom is afraid. I guess just keep telling her you love her but there is nothing to be afraid of because it's so much better there than here. No one wants to die but it's going to happen to all of us. Why not comfort someone anyway you can at this time. You didn't say if your mom was a believer or not. Either way paint the prettiest picture you can for her to ease her anxiety. Good Luck and God Bless
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My mother died a few days ago. Her caregiver was at her side. She swears a shadow came to get my mother, she died moments later. Who knows? It scared her so much she had to leave the room.
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when my dad was told it was ok to let go, I was told he reached his arms up and called my mom's name - he'd been calling me her for a while - we felt he was wanting to go to her
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Be with her so she won't be alone. I heard that women want a loved one by their side, and men will wait when noone is around to depart from this world..... I stayed the last night when dad was alive, and my brother was next to him when he passed. My nephew was with my brother when he passed a few months back. But they always come back some way to say they are okay. Dad talked to me a lot. My brother flew down in a form of an owl, i have not seen owls in my backyard in years. They me gave me 20 dollars, found it in a park, then he decided to give me a headache and made by hatchback go beserk, hit mein the head, had a bump for a week. Thank got the car was still under warranty....Tell mom she will not be alone, and she can come back and help you in your time of need... My dad was an atheist. Ya, that went out the window after he saw the light.
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Dreams, music, a funny memory with her, little things. If you get lonely, talk to her, she sill answer in one form or other. I believe... What do you think?
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Maybe have a chaplain or someone in your church come talk with her. It's okay, to be scared.
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I'm reading a mystery series by Margaret Coel set on an Arapaho reservation. The main character is a Jesuit priest. Given the nature of mysteries, there are a lot of funerals. In addition to the Catholic ritual and ceremony, the elders also put red pain on the body, so the ancestors will recognize the spirit as one of them and not an intruder and guide it to the Sky Place.

I guess in all cultures there is a desire to believe something happens after death and that we will join others who went before us. I would emphasize any beliefs the person holds that will comfort them. I don't think I'd introduce new concepts at this time.
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That would be red paint ...
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I do believe in spiritual guides. I know some people who have been unconscious open their eyes before death and other reach up.
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It doesn't matter what I personally believe. Tell your mom whatever she needs to hear to be comforted. The factual truth makes no matter at that point.
A good, peaceful, gentle death is the main point.

What I do believe is that each person's last moments of consciousness are crafted by their upbringing, life experiences, and memories. As the brain loses oxygen, it processes less and less information until there is just light. And then there is no light. I understand death as a biological, physiological process better than anything else. I would never tell someone else that what they believe is wrong.

I believe and trust that the end of life process will do what it's supposed to. The processes to return my body to star stuff will kick in, and I will rejoin the universe in a completely different way. I don't need to hear there is a paradise waiting for me or the threat of permanent damnation. Who knows, I might go on to be part of a very exciting new planet or star!
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Sandwich, well written. There are also the cultural differences of death and the afterworld to be considered.
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Thank you all for your open minded feedback.I probably think too much.Ive been anticipating death for a long time.I really appreciate this helpful website and all of you who care enough to write.luckylu
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Jesus Christ is the light and the way to forgiveness and eternal life. He died for us that we shall live. That is my belief and I will say it until the day I die. I'm not ashamed to say it and I hope others will grow to understand what he offers - eternal life and peace.
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Luckylu, To answer your question: YES! I believe it & I know it. Angels are here among us & in this case are like our guides. I have seen them in dreams just standing by, waiting for someone who has recently passed, to sort of "wake up" & notice them standing there. They are always dressed in white robes, in these types of scenarios, just standing by another entrance unobtrusively waiting. One thing that is ALWAYS there on their faces, I have noticed, is this sort of grin they ALWAYS have on their faces. It's as if they are thinking, "Wait until you see this..." As if they are used to the reaction they receive & can't wait to show the person to the entrance they will surely be glad they entered into. But, at the same time, they say nothing, & just stay by the entrance patiently & quietly waiting. I will never forget that grinning-faced angel who just waits til each person is ready to follow them home. Peace! blou
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To add to the common statement that many speak of family members "being there in the room" close to the end of one's life: I believe them. Lucky, your mom, being as you say, " afraid of being alone " through this process, will find great comfort in those whom she knows & trusts & loves being here with her--and she knows they are proof that though they have passed, they are fine & will help her be fine as well. Many people have a period of clarity before passing. The fear of death is worse than the death itself. Your Mom is so lucky to have you with her now to help her go out in such a gentle & beautiful way! We should all be so fortunate to live & die how we choose. Take care & God bless you & your Mom! Love, blou
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Often the best thing we can do is just simply to be there. The last ten days my mom was in the hospital, and people from our church arranged for someone to always be with her, 24/7. The friend who was with her at the end often told me later how privileged she was to have been with her. I was with my mother-in-law her last night, and she was talking with her mother and sister (both deceased). nephew told of seeing two angels by my brother-in-law's bed on his last afternoon.
This wasn't the BIL's imagination, it was a separate third party, who was not usually a suggestive or fanciful person.
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Absent from the body, present with the Lord. Not a long journey at all IMOP,
In the twinkling of an eye.
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Luckylu, my Nana lived with my Auntie and Uncle. The night before she died, she stood in the doorway to her bedroom and really stared at my Auntie, and my Auntie said, Mam is everything alright? Oh yes she said, but my Auntie said she had such a queer feeling about it, like as if she knew that it was her last look. In the morning, my Auntie went in with her usual cup of tea, and Nana had passed on, quite peacefully, with a book in her hands, and her reading glasses downon her nose. All so sweet and peaceful, however heartbreaking, that was exactly the way she wanted it.
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Im a non believer sort of - hedging bets here I guess but I would call myself an agnostic. My mother is a believer and it is her whose dreams hope and prayers that are paramount for me. For as long as I can allay her fears then all is well.

I was with my Dad when he died - We were alone together. In that awful moment of passing he squeezed my hand and was gone. In a nano second he was no longer my Dad but the shell that had housed him for those 78 years.

I don't know that there is an afterlife - I do know he is with me all the time - I can feel his presence even as I type this and jings it doesn't get a whole heap easier with passing years. I still miss him like crazy and now I need his help more than ever. Mum is scared she is going to die before she sees the new place and I think she may be right. Dad seems to be much more 'present' than he has been for a while - perhaps Im not an agnostic after all
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