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Jude, my Dad was a devout Catholic, my Mom, was a Christian, who always supported The Salvation Army, but she supported him in raising all six of us kids in the Catholic Church.my Father fought a horrible disease called PSP, Progressive Supranucular Palsy, for about 10 years, and the year before he died, my Mom was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer, for which she had surgery, and 45 straight days of radiation therapy for. My Dad died from aspiration pneumonia, and my Mom's Cancer spread to her pelvic and hip bones. It was a very painful and grueling time for her. She lived with my eldest sister, snd e had hospice care for exactly 6 mo until she to died, 14 months after my Dad. But in that 6 mo, my Mom converted to Catholicism, as she wanted to be sure she ended up with him, lol, as if she wouldn't. She was an Angel, they were the best of parents! Again, in those 6 mo, she spoke to my Dad every day, and he answered her Back as well, she said he answered herin a buzzing sound in her ear 1 buz for yes, 2 buzz for no, snd she was very convincing too! There were many a time, while she was delirious on IV morphine, that I would see her verbally holding down conversations with him, snd I would ask her, and she would say, that Dad is close, waiting patiently for her to "cross over" together . And then she did. In the months following my Mom's death, I too, would get a buzzing in my ear, but I could never make any sense of it, but I often wonder if they are my Angels. I, and my sister's have had many "signs" from them, That I am sure of! I do feel their presence especially when I am sitting quietly thinking of them in my backyard, which is very peaceful and private.
StacyB thank you for sharing your experiences which must be very private for you. I too strongly believe that there are angels waiting at the bedsides of the dying. Sometimes there are signs and at others much later there are events that leave no doubt that these are signs from those who have passed. If you believe and I don't necessarily mean in a religious sense you will see what is out there.
Yes, I believe your mom's sister was with her. Many times, when major changes have occured in my family, I have had dreams beforehand, letting me know my deceased parents or grandparents were with me because something was going to happen.
My father passed 16 years ago. At the hospital on the Friday afternoon we were told he was to have bypass surgery the following Monday and we should go home. The following morning my apartment, 200 miles away, was filled with the smell of chrysanthemums. Grandpa grew huge chrysanthemums in his greenhouse every year and they were everywhere in their house at Christmas.
I went in the hallway and out on the balcony but the strong smell was just inside. It was a sign that grandpa had taken my father home and I knew he had passed well before I got the phone call.
I haven't had any waking signs from my Mom. But I did have an unusual dream the other night. I was floating, it was almost like someone was holding my feet and showing me things. First I saw a bible verse and underneath it was signed by one of my aunts who is deceased. Then I saw my Mom and I was crying and said "I miss you so much" She looked really happy and said "I miss you too, but don't cry I am happy" Then I saw all these people all playing like children.
Throughout the dream I was aware it was a dream and kept thinking I don't want to wake up. I want to see more.
Gershun, I have had dreams of my parents, but always separate, never are they together, though I know that they are. I have also several times in fact, had a feeling that someone sat down on my bed, that actual feeling of someone gently sitting down. At first I wake up, and initially think that there is someone( like an intruder) but I lay there calmly, breathing quietly and listen, no sound, but then feel really calm, and think, "is that youMom/Dad? But no answer, just Calm, and I'm pretty sure that it's them, or someone, perhaps my Angel guide? I dont know, but it doesn't scare me anymore.
Angels taking us by the hand, walk towards the light, the ghost of Christmas past, the Easter Bunny. What ever works for a dying person and there loved ones. I personally don't think our deaths are any more different, spiritual or special that that of road kill. So I'm "Cussing Heaven and Praying There Ain't No Hell", as the old song goes.
Most people die full of drugs, pain and dementia. We will see and feel all kinds of things depending on our beliefs, memories etc. If my Mom or Dad is seeing Angels on their death bed I will see them also and support anything that makes their death more comfortable and peaceful.
Luckylu, it would seem that what your mother believes about a personal relationship with the God she believes in matters the most. Can she speak, to tell you about her beliefs? Secondly, ask her if she has concerns about leaving you behind, and share with her what you believe. Maybe it is time to call in spiritual guidance from someone who believes the same as Mom. Personally, and biblically, no matter what she believes, she will not be alone.
As I was growing up I often heard my Mom tell how she knew her mother had passed before she got the call because she'd had a dream where she saw Jesus standing on a beautiful marble staircase with sunlit clouds behind Him & His arms stretched wide in a welcoming posture. When my father passed away 3 days before my 21st birthday I was hoping to have the same experience that night. I was so disappointed that I didn't. Looking back, I think the reason that I didn't is that God gives us what we need to comfort us. My Mom needed that quintessential religious experience for comfort but I needed a different experience to know that my Dad understood & loved me despite the friction between us the last year of his life. I *AM* convinced that comfort came in the form of visits from Dad because I would suddenly smell the pungent scent of cigarette smoke even though no one in my house smoked. (Dad was a severe chain smoker from age 14!). The one "appearance" that has always stuck in my head was one evening that I was watching TV, suddenly smelled cigarette smoke & had a sense of forboding in regards to my Mom. The smell & the feeling of urgency just didn't go away so I went to check on her. I found her lying on her kitchen floor with a broken hip.
Gershun, I think this is a good disscusion, people are sharing ideas to make the end of life more comforting for their loved ones, and that type of interaction is the intent of this forum. I respect people's right to believe in various religions, myths, dreams etc. But it offends me that many "People Of Faith" don't respect my right not to believe. As for being flippant, well ok, maybe I was a little but if ever a forum needs a little lightening up its this one. That was my intent, not to ruffle feathers. I don't want to use this post to debate theology. Since I am not a person of faith I will stay off this thread, but again, I do appreciate any and all ideas that ease the passing of our loved ones.
Windy, well said! Gershun, in support of Windy, I think he was trying as well to lend some humor to a very traumatic event in anyone's lives. I didn't interpret his response to be flippant in any sense of the word.
I would also think that anyone who does believe in Christianity should also respect the right of others who either don't believe or have their own religions and beliefs.
This isn't just a Christian nation; it's also a nation of Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Native Americans and probably others with their own respective beliefs. ALL of them should be respected, for their beliefs in life as well as in death.
Some of our American heritage derives from important contributions from the Greeks, who certainly weren't Christians but had their own set of gods and goddesses, as did the Romans and Egyptians, also both important contributors to art, architecture, government and other aspects of life.
Windy, I respect your non-beliefs, and your rights to not believe. However, respect for other's belief's does not necessarily translate to mean that everyone else must stay silent about their own belief. Your not wanting to use this post to debate theology is a good and lofty goal, and consistent with the guidelines of aging care forum. Your input is valuable and appreciated, you are a part of this community. However, and this is just for you, there is IMOP, error when you say that since you are not a person of faith you will stay off this thread. In the 'christian' community there are so many varying beliefs, translations, and opinions that someone is always offended. I too am offended. Don't feel all alone with your sense of humor, as I am always taking heat for that. For example, if you correct anyone's spelling, I personally reserve the right to correct yours. But then, this forum is not intended for that either. If you and I started going back and forth correcting each other's spelling, we would then be called on to explain if we are caregivers, or something because people would get lost. Since we are asked to stay on topic, I would like to say this. On my deathbed, if anyone I know who has died or an angel comes to take my hand, I am not going willingly that day, but that is just my belief.
I am grateful for my personal belief that this life is temporary and that there is indeed a wonderful eternal life beyond this one. I have lost many loved ones, and been with several when they passed. Definitely felt that someone came to "get them". When my FIL passed (not a religious man at all) my hubby and his sister were sitting on either side of his bed. My BIL and I were sitting in chairs in a corner. Suddenly, I looked at my BIL and he looked at me and we both whispered "did you feel that?" It was like a sweet breeze had moved through the room. I said to my hubby "Honey, I think your dad is gone", and he looked at his dad and saw that he indeed has passed between one breath and another. I think he and his sis would have felt that awesome moment too if they hadn't been talking. I think whatever comforts the patient is fine....I miss my dad so much, but I have still felt his presence many times.
Windy if you are still on this forum and didn't leave like you said you would I would like to explain why I said what I did. Nowhere in my post did I put down your non beliefs. I said, if you want to reread my post was "you are entitled to your non-beliefs"
However comparing someones christian beliefs to that of the Easter Bunny etc. is kind of a put-down.
Granted maybe you were trying to be funny. I'll give you that.
All the comments are duly noted. I truly respect all you folks, read your posts and appreciate your comments on faith or any other subject. I think the discussion should continue, it is worthwhile. I don't want to be the pissed off kid who took my ball and ran home cause I didn't like the rules. But let's return the disscussion to the original post by Lucky. I didn't mean to get it off course. If you want to debate Angels vs the Easter Bunny, meet me on the message board.
I could never thank you all enough for all your kind and thoughtful input.It has comforted me and I appreciate someone in this world really cares.May God Bless You!
What I believe is that there are angels of protection sent by the Lord, whenever there is a need, not just by the bedside of a person expected to die, but to those who need comfort.
It's been a long ,memorable journey with Mother but we are at the end I'm afraid.At this point,I just hope she dies peacefully in her sleep and I do believe my Dad or someone she knows and loves will help her or atleast I pray so.Thanks again for your wonderful thoughts and answers to my big question.
Wish there were words to comfort you, Luckylu. I do care about you, and what you are going through for your Mom. When that time comes, and afterward too, lean on us here for support and love.{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to you!
When daddy was in Hospice care, he would often say the name "Malah" or "Malach". My mother was upset b/c she thought his MOTHER would come "get him". I told my daughter, who at the time happened to be taking Hebrew. She said "Mom, Malah, or Malach is the word "angel" in Hebrew.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I too strongly believe that there are angels waiting at the bedsides of the dying.
Sometimes there are signs and at others much later there are events that leave no doubt that these are signs from those who have passed. If you believe and I don't necessarily mean in a religious sense you will see what is out there.
I went in the hallway and out on the balcony but the strong smell was just inside. It was a sign that grandpa had taken my father home and I knew he had passed well before I got the phone call.
Throughout the dream I was aware it was a dream and kept thinking I don't want to wake up. I want to see more.
Most people die full of drugs, pain and dementia. We will see and feel all kinds of things depending on our beliefs, memories etc. If my Mom or Dad is seeing Angels on their death bed I will see them also and support anything that makes their death more comfortable and peaceful.
Personally, and biblically, no matter what she believes, she will not be alone.
Something to think about........:)
I would also think that anyone who does believe in Christianity should also respect the right of others who either don't believe or have their own religions and beliefs.
This isn't just a Christian nation; it's also a nation of Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Native Americans and probably others with their own respective beliefs. ALL of them should be respected, for their beliefs in life as well as in death.
Some of our American heritage derives from important contributions from the Greeks, who certainly weren't Christians but had their own set of gods and goddesses, as did the Romans and Egyptians, also both important contributors to art, architecture, government and other aspects of life.
Your not wanting to use this post to debate theology is a good and lofty goal, and consistent with the guidelines of aging care forum. Your input is valuable and appreciated, you are a part of this community.
However, and this is just for you, there is IMOP, error when you say that since you are not a person of faith you will stay off this thread. In the 'christian' community there are so many varying beliefs, translations, and opinions that someone is always offended. I too am offended.
Don't feel all alone with your sense of humor, as I am always taking heat for that.
For example, if you correct anyone's spelling, I personally reserve the right to correct yours. But then, this forum is not intended for that either. If you and I started going back and forth correcting each other's spelling, we would then be called on to explain if we are caregivers, or something because people would get lost. Since we are asked to stay on topic, I would like to say this.
On my deathbed, if anyone I know who has died or an angel comes to take my hand, I am not going willingly that day, but that is just my belief.
However comparing someones christian beliefs to that of the Easter Bunny etc. is
kind of a put-down.
Granted maybe you were trying to be funny. I'll give you that.