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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Angels taking us by the hand, walk towards the light, the ghost of Christmas past, the Easter Bunny. What ever works for a dying person and there loved ones. I personally don't think our deaths are any more different, spiritual or special that that of road kill. So I'm "Cussing Heaven and Praying There Ain't No Hell", as the old song goes.
Most people die full of drugs, pain and dementia. We will see and feel all kinds of things depending on our beliefs, memories etc. If my Mom or Dad is seeing Angels on their death bed I will see them also and support anything that makes their death more comfortable and peaceful.
Gershun, I have had dreams of my parents, but always separate, never are they together, though I know that they are. I have also several times in fact, had a feeling that someone sat down on my bed, that actual feeling of someone gently sitting down. At first I wake up, and initially think that there is someone( like an intruder) but I lay there calmly, breathing quietly and listen, no sound, but then feel really calm, and think, "is that youMom/Dad? But no answer, just Calm, and I'm pretty sure that it's them, or someone, perhaps my Angel guide? I dont know, but it doesn't scare me anymore.
I haven't had any waking signs from my Mom. But I did have an unusual dream the other night. I was floating, it was almost like someone was holding my feet and showing me things. First I saw a bible verse and underneath it was signed by one of my aunts who is deceased. Then I saw my Mom and I was crying and said "I miss you so much" She looked really happy and said "I miss you too, but don't cry I am happy" Then I saw all these people all playing like children.
Throughout the dream I was aware it was a dream and kept thinking I don't want to wake up. I want to see more.
My father passed 16 years ago. At the hospital on the Friday afternoon we were told he was to have bypass surgery the following Monday and we should go home. The following morning my apartment, 200 miles away, was filled with the smell of chrysanthemums. Grandpa grew huge chrysanthemums in his greenhouse every year and they were everywhere in their house at Christmas.
I went in the hallway and out on the balcony but the strong smell was just inside. It was a sign that grandpa had taken my father home and I knew he had passed well before I got the phone call.
Yes, I believe your mom's sister was with her. Many times, when major changes have occured in my family, I have had dreams beforehand, letting me know my deceased parents or grandparents were with me because something was going to happen.
StacyB thank you for sharing your experiences which must be very private for you. I too strongly believe that there are angels waiting at the bedsides of the dying. Sometimes there are signs and at others much later there are events that leave no doubt that these are signs from those who have passed. If you believe and I don't necessarily mean in a religious sense you will see what is out there.
Jude, my Dad was a devout Catholic, my Mom, was a Christian, who always supported The Salvation Army, but she supported him in raising all six of us kids in the Catholic Church.my Father fought a horrible disease called PSP, Progressive Supranucular Palsy, for about 10 years, and the year before he died, my Mom was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer, for which she had surgery, and 45 straight days of radiation therapy for. My Dad died from aspiration pneumonia, and my Mom's Cancer spread to her pelvic and hip bones. It was a very painful and grueling time for her. She lived with my eldest sister, snd e had hospice care for exactly 6 mo until she to died, 14 months after my Dad. But in that 6 mo, my Mom converted to Catholicism, as she wanted to be sure she ended up with him, lol, as if she wouldn't. She was an Angel, they were the best of parents! Again, in those 6 mo, she spoke to my Dad every day, and he answered her Back as well, she said he answered herin a buzzing sound in her ear 1 buz for yes, 2 buzz for no, snd she was very convincing too! There were many a time, while she was delirious on IV morphine, that I would see her verbally holding down conversations with him, snd I would ask her, and she would say, that Dad is close, waiting patiently for her to "cross over" together . And then she did. In the months following my Mom's death, I too, would get a buzzing in my ear, but I could never make any sense of it, but I often wonder if they are my Angels. I, and my sister's have had many "signs" from them, That I am sure of! I do feel their presence especially when I am sitting quietly thinking of them in my backyard, which is very peaceful and private.
Im a non believer sort of - hedging bets here I guess but I would call myself an agnostic. My mother is a believer and it is her whose dreams hope and prayers that are paramount for me. For as long as I can allay her fears then all is well.
I was with my Dad when he died - We were alone together. In that awful moment of passing he squeezed my hand and was gone. In a nano second he was no longer my Dad but the shell that had housed him for those 78 years.
I don't know that there is an afterlife - I do know he is with me all the time - I can feel his presence even as I type this and jings it doesn't get a whole heap easier with passing years. I still miss him like crazy and now I need his help more than ever. Mum is scared she is going to die before she sees the new place and I think she may be right. Dad seems to be much more 'present' than he has been for a while - perhaps Im not an agnostic after all
Luckylu, my Nana lived with my Auntie and Uncle. The night before she died, she stood in the doorway to her bedroom and really stared at my Auntie, and my Auntie said, Mam is everything alright? Oh yes she said, but my Auntie said she had such a queer feeling about it, like as if she knew that it was her last look. In the morning, my Auntie went in with her usual cup of tea, and Nana had passed on, quite peacefully, with a book in her hands, and her reading glasses downon her nose. All so sweet and peaceful, however heartbreaking, that was exactly the way she wanted it.
Often the best thing we can do is just simply to be there. The last ten days my mom was in the hospital, and people from our church arranged for someone to always be with her, 24/7. The friend who was with her at the end often told me later how privileged she was to have been with her. I was with my mother-in-law her last night, and she was talking with her mother and sister (both deceased). nephew told of seeing two angels by my brother-in-law's bed on his last afternoon. This wasn't the BIL's imagination, it was a separate third party, who was not usually a suggestive or fanciful person.
To add to the common statement that many speak of family members "being there in the room" close to the end of one's life: I believe them. Lucky, your mom, being as you say, " afraid of being alone " through this process, will find great comfort in those whom she knows & trusts & loves being here with her--and she knows they are proof that though they have passed, they are fine & will help her be fine as well. Many people have a period of clarity before passing. The fear of death is worse than the death itself. Your Mom is so lucky to have you with her now to help her go out in such a gentle & beautiful way! We should all be so fortunate to live & die how we choose. Take care & God bless you & your Mom! Love, blou
Luckylu, To answer your question: YES! I believe it & I know it. Angels are here among us & in this case are like our guides. I have seen them in dreams just standing by, waiting for someone who has recently passed, to sort of "wake up" & notice them standing there. They are always dressed in white robes, in these types of scenarios, just standing by another entrance unobtrusively waiting. One thing that is ALWAYS there on their faces, I have noticed, is this sort of grin they ALWAYS have on their faces. It's as if they are thinking, "Wait until you see this..." As if they are used to the reaction they receive & can't wait to show the person to the entrance they will surely be glad they entered into. But, at the same time, they say nothing, & just stay by the entrance patiently & quietly waiting. I will never forget that grinning-faced angel who just waits til each person is ready to follow them home. Peace! blou
Jesus Christ is the light and the way to forgiveness and eternal life. He died for us that we shall live. That is my belief and I will say it until the day I die. I'm not ashamed to say it and I hope others will grow to understand what he offers - eternal life and peace.
Thank you all for your open minded feedback.I probably think too much.Ive been anticipating death for a long time.I really appreciate this helpful website and all of you who care enough to write.luckylu
It doesn't matter what I personally believe. Tell your mom whatever she needs to hear to be comforted. The factual truth makes no matter at that point. A good, peaceful, gentle death is the main point.
What I do believe is that each person's last moments of consciousness are crafted by their upbringing, life experiences, and memories. As the brain loses oxygen, it processes less and less information until there is just light. And then there is no light. I understand death as a biological, physiological process better than anything else. I would never tell someone else that what they believe is wrong.
I believe and trust that the end of life process will do what it's supposed to. The processes to return my body to star stuff will kick in, and I will rejoin the universe in a completely different way. I don't need to hear there is a paradise waiting for me or the threat of permanent damnation. Who knows, I might go on to be part of a very exciting new planet or star!
I'm reading a mystery series by Margaret Coel set on an Arapaho reservation. The main character is a Jesuit priest. Given the nature of mysteries, there are a lot of funerals. In addition to the Catholic ritual and ceremony, the elders also put red pain on the body, so the ancestors will recognize the spirit as one of them and not an intruder and guide it to the Sky Place.
I guess in all cultures there is a desire to believe something happens after death and that we will join others who went before us. I would emphasize any beliefs the person holds that will comfort them. I don't think I'd introduce new concepts at this time.
Dreams, music, a funny memory with her, little things. If you get lonely, talk to her, she sill answer in one form or other. I believe... What do you think?
Be with her so she won't be alone. I heard that women want a loved one by their side, and men will wait when noone is around to depart from this world..... I stayed the last night when dad was alive, and my brother was next to him when he passed. My nephew was with my brother when he passed a few months back. But they always come back some way to say they are okay. Dad talked to me a lot. My brother flew down in a form of an owl, i have not seen owls in my backyard in years. They me gave me 20 dollars, found it in a park, then he decided to give me a headache and made by hatchback go beserk, hit mein the head, had a bump for a week. Thank got the car was still under warranty....Tell mom she will not be alone, and she can come back and help you in your time of need... My dad was an atheist. Ya, that went out the window after he saw the light.
when my dad was told it was ok to let go, I was told he reached his arms up and called my mom's name - he'd been calling me her for a while - we felt he was wanting to go to her
My mother died a few days ago. Her caregiver was at her side. She swears a shadow came to get my mother, she died moments later. Who knows? It scared her so much she had to leave the room.
I can only hope and pray so. Just went to a funeral today and I know it gave great joy and comfort to the parents of this young man that 2 days before he passed he told them the best thing that had come out of his illness is that he was closer to God than ever before in his life. He felt his presence around him. I do have faith and God forbid it's anytime soon but when I do leave this earth I will miss those I love, however I won't be afraid because I know there is something so much better waiting. I'm sorry your mom is afraid. I guess just keep telling her you love her but there is nothing to be afraid of because it's so much better there than here. No one wants to die but it's going to happen to all of us. Why not comfort someone anyway you can at this time. You didn't say if your mom was a believer or not. Either way paint the prettiest picture you can for her to ease her anxiety. Good Luck and God Bless
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Most people die full of drugs, pain and dementia. We will see and feel all kinds of things depending on our beliefs, memories etc. If my Mom or Dad is seeing Angels on their death bed I will see them also and support anything that makes their death more comfortable and peaceful.
Throughout the dream I was aware it was a dream and kept thinking I don't want to wake up. I want to see more.
I went in the hallway and out on the balcony but the strong smell was just inside. It was a sign that grandpa had taken my father home and I knew he had passed well before I got the phone call.
I too strongly believe that there are angels waiting at the bedsides of the dying.
Sometimes there are signs and at others much later there are events that leave no doubt that these are signs from those who have passed. If you believe and I don't necessarily mean in a religious sense you will see what is out there.
I was with my Dad when he died - We were alone together. In that awful moment of passing he squeezed my hand and was gone. In a nano second he was no longer my Dad but the shell that had housed him for those 78 years.
I don't know that there is an afterlife - I do know he is with me all the time - I can feel his presence even as I type this and jings it doesn't get a whole heap easier with passing years. I still miss him like crazy and now I need his help more than ever. Mum is scared she is going to die before she sees the new place and I think she may be right. Dad seems to be much more 'present' than he has been for a while - perhaps Im not an agnostic after all
In the twinkling of an eye.
This wasn't the BIL's imagination, it was a separate third party, who was not usually a suggestive or fanciful person.
A good, peaceful, gentle death is the main point.
What I do believe is that each person's last moments of consciousness are crafted by their upbringing, life experiences, and memories. As the brain loses oxygen, it processes less and less information until there is just light. And then there is no light. I understand death as a biological, physiological process better than anything else. I would never tell someone else that what they believe is wrong.
I believe and trust that the end of life process will do what it's supposed to. The processes to return my body to star stuff will kick in, and I will rejoin the universe in a completely different way. I don't need to hear there is a paradise waiting for me or the threat of permanent damnation. Who knows, I might go on to be part of a very exciting new planet or star!
I guess in all cultures there is a desire to believe something happens after death and that we will join others who went before us. I would emphasize any beliefs the person holds that will comfort them. I don't think I'd introduce new concepts at this time.