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Mom is in a private pay shared room at a memory care facility (not a snf), and her roommate who is bedridden is now on hospice and oxygen - it appears she doesn't have much time left but I'm concerned about what effect her passing will have on my mom who is 93 and really doesn't grasp that she's in a facility and has a roommate I have private caregivers overnight and 4 hours a day with mom - the facility asked me to sign a waiver when they put her roomie on hospice last weekend but they didn't answer my questions and I gave not signed yet - I have not seen anyone visit her - has anyone experienced a loved room sharing space with a dying resident? This is not a nursing facility

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Msmadge, what does the waiver say? I would demand the roommate be moved to another room alone somewhere. This is quite odd.
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Good Lord! That's certainly a goulish, disrespectful, awkward situation - for both roommates!
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My friend is having lunch with mom and took her to her room to tinkle and nap - roomie just passed away
God rest her soul
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I felt sorry for my Mom's roommate when my Mom was on Hospice care at long-term-care as the roommate had to hear and/or witness what was going on during the final two weeks, and then the day my Mom had passed in the wee hours of the morning [I was with my Mom when this happened]. Hopefully the roommate was back to sleep when the funeral home came.

Even though my Mom couldn't communicate with her roommate due to her own deafness and very poor eyesight at 98. The roommate, who was bedridden yet was a much younger woman, keep an eye out for my Mom, and would notify the nurse any time my Mom fell out of bed, etc. [my Mom was in last stage of dementia that she didn't know she could no longer walk much less stand].

I think there are so many different facilities, some with all private rooms, some with all shared rooms, and some inbetween, depending on the cost. My Mom could have had a private room at a slightly higher cost. Mom never wanted to be in a room all by herself. She felt more secure knowing someone was there, even though she didn't really know who it was.
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Was a visitor in an acute care hospital. You shoulda seen the slow response to "code stroke", this was killing me to watch...then, a nurse arriving as the patient was being transferred, actually said: "Is that the stroke?"
No, no, no! Not even, is that the stroke patient? (just as bad), OR "Is that the patient with a stroke?"

Nurses are trained NOT to speak of patients as their illness, i.e., "the stroke".

No excuses techs and nurses-no excuses!
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Even the sad, outdated nursing home I toured when mom was awarded a crisis bed there had a separate hospice bed... it was cheerless and looked about the size of a closet but they did have one, though I suppose there could have been difficulties if two people were actively dying at the same time.
I would raise h3ll with admins and DON, and perhaps drop the ombudsman word. Actually maybe just contacting the ombudsman to see where you stand might be a good move.
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When my dad went on hospice he was moved out of the room he shared with another gentleman and moved into his own room. Not deluxe accommodations but private nonetheless.
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Ms. Madge,
Sorry your Mom's roomie has passed.

There are some serious infractions still to be dealt with.
NO A/C can make someone ill in this So. Calif. heat-the weather keeps changing, so ask to have her transferred to another room. Enlist the help of her doctors, and try to get a dermatologist to visit.
Tell them you have a friend coming to that party who has a lot to say about their treatment of residents there.
I agree with other posters about contacting the Ombudsman/Patient's rights advocate.
If you were just renting an apartment with A/C, how many days would you tolerate it being broken?
Tell your friend, I love that she was there during this difficult time for your Mom.
Just timely, just in time. But also very sad.

This question/thread you posted is going to help a lot of people in similar circumstances. How best can we help you? Do you need help speaking up to the admin of memory care?
Maybe you want to write a letter?
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Ohhh Madge.....such a very sorry story all around: your poor Mom, Mom's poor roommate, you, your friend.....

Hopefully, your Mom was "oblivious" to what occurred and not affected....BUT, the poor roommate.....no visitors.....all alone.....at least it sounds relatively quick BUT no excuse to the facility re: the very final honor of privacy in your last moments.....

Agreed re: Seeking out Ombudsman or other on this situation as well as heating/cooling problems.....are you kidding me??!!....And you are private pay?....

God knows your plate is full.....and you spend so much time w/your Mom while still juggling work responsibilities.....

Heart out to you, dear....
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Hi Send
Yes crazy So Cal weather - 74 one day and 94 the next

The a/c still isn't fixed and it's been a weird week with the dining room closed for the faux wood installation - I understand they're having a staff appreciate party on this Saturday - wonder who will be taking care of the residents ??

Luckily I had some nystatin powder and that seems to be clearing up her rash - she's not scratching as much 😀
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