There is plenty of money available to cover her nursing home expenses for a long time, but when and if the time comes that money runs out, I don't want the nursing home to require me to sell her beautiful antiques just to pay those bills. I want the family heirlooms to go to who my mother wanted them to go to and to sell the rest and put it in an account without my Mom's name on it. My father passed away 18 years ago. I am the only child and have managed everything regarding my mother's needs so far. She has demintia and the doctor has deemed her unable to make her own decisions regarding her health. Her attorney is appointed Power of Attorney, but I am still her blood daughter and should be able to make decisions regarding the contents of the house. Right?
The DPOA is the point person for all financial & MPOA for all medical so anything under finances or health is under their purview and they make the decision
I'd send a letter to the DPOA to set up a care plan conference regarding your mom and a review of her finances and got discuss your concerns. If you are in fact managing mom's needs (she is in a NH?), then you could ask for a personal services contract to be done to compensate you for your time. If your mom does have "plenty of money" there should be no reason not to do it. It could be that mom's care or future anticipated needs is costing a lot more than your realize or the cost of administrative fees for her is more than you realize.
The NH can't require you sell anything but the NH can require payment for services rendered. If selling some of mom assets are needed to do that then that's what is needed to be done. None of us wants to have to liquidate a retirement account or go into savings or take the cash value of a insurance policy for our spouses or parents or children's needs but that's what it there for. Why don't you and the attorney at the care plan meeting discuss just distributing the antiques now and placing the rest at auction?