My mother had a stroke in 2003. She lives alone in her own home with caregivers that come in daily. The stroke affected her right side. She takes care of her own affairs/bills, etc. She also pays the caregivers. My concern, when do you know that it is time to start overseeing the finances, making sure she is paying things on time, etc without making her feel I have to watch everything she does. She is a very independent person and always was and insists living in her home and not an assisted living facility which we tried and she hated it. Thanks!
Maybe you could talk to her and ask her how much she pays out, and go over the payments with her and then you could tell. If in your opinion she is doing fine and is compitant with her finances then you should continue to let her. If not then you may want to involve yourself a little more.
I'm sure others will follow me with very helpful suggestions but I hope this one will help you as well.
It has made life a little easier for me. I always make my mother aware of her finances. I think that it is important for all seniors to know where there money is going and be responsible for decision making if they are mentally able.
You make a valid point about keeping parents who are mental capable of understanding what is going on in the loop. That gives them a sense of control, even if you are really doing all the work. This has worked with mom. We periodically go over bills that are due and decide what must be done in each case. If she has any question of what to do, she relies on me to answer her question or at least give her a go to person to solve the problem.
My mom is an incapacitated individual who was never responsible, and never grew up. She is a spoiled brat in an 74 year old body, who uses the legal system to throw tantrums and get her way. She lies, and does whatever it takes. Too old to spank. And me, the responsible one, setting limits and paying off debts, gets accused of false things. What a nightmare dealing with this. Sorry. I guess I just needed to vent.
The moral is: we don't always know what our folks are doing. I actually suspected some things, but didn't figure it was my place to meddle or do anything. (Until things got beyond dad's control). Someone needed to step in. Mom will never have full control again. The court has taken over now. I'll get to find out the results in a year. Oh, boy, can't wait. The attorneys are already lining their pockets, and she is spending foolishly. I could just scream!!!!