Can someone tell me what to expect in a comprehensive assessment for getting meals on wheels? My mom is getting weaker as she can no longer properly prepare meals for herself. I just called her and she sounded very weak. (She has dementia and beginning Alz) I live long distance and trying to coordinate meals on wheels for her today. Told she will have to have assessment. I know she will be very angry about this and may refuse the meals on wheels. She is not driving and hasn't driven for a couple months. I suspect she will tell the coordinator that she is able to drive. Any help from someone who knows what will be asked or what is involved in the assessment. Mom lives alone; no outside help - has refused in the past.
I think a good part of the assessment is about their financial status as often these programs are funded through CBDG's - community block development grants - as those with household income below your mom's community standard get extra $ to run program as they are meeting a need. They probably want to establish that it is a senior getting the benefit and there is not younger family members there eating the food. My mom when she was still living @ her home got Meals on WHeels type of program delivered 4 X a week for a cost of $ 12 and they provided a marked insulated cooler with freezer blocks that she could set outside her kitchen/outside door for the food to go into , so she didn't have to be home OR open her door for them. Her HH income was about $ 1,800 between SS and retirement so it was not free but if she had just had SS only it would have been. She may be asked to show the annual SS statement that goes out to all in Jan (this is an important document for Medicaid if you ever need to go that route) - they should not ask for any bank statement. Also they did a dietary screening as so many have sodium, issues or are diabetic and the meals have to be tailored for that in order to get their federal funding. This seems to be kinda standard.
My mom was highly independent and getting her help either via Meals or having home health care was nothing but a battle. SHe is Lewy Body Dementia and was very competent looking to the outside world really until the last couple of years. It can be a real uphill battle to get them to accept outside help. If you are not DPOA, MPOA or have a Guardianship in Case of Incapacity on her, I'd suggest you do some research to find a good elder care attorney and then take a few days off to go visit her and get these things done now and before it's an emergency situation and you all are functioning in a panic. Many of us on this site have been where you are.....my mom would put on a good show for when we would visit but really could not function at home on her own and I forced her into IL. Mad as a wet hen with major Academy Award level dramarama. WIthin 3 days at IL was too busy to talk to me as she had to get downstairs to catch the van to go to Steinmart. LMAO! She did IL for a few years and now is in a NH for 2 years and is mid 90's too. It'snever easy but you have to go with your gut feeling of what she needs rather than listen to her protests that she doesn't need anything. Good luck and keep a sense of humor.
It is wonderful that your niece could visit your Mom. One note of caution, our parents with dementia can seem perfectly fine during a brief visit. This used to happen with my sister and myself. She would visit for a couple of hours, and all was well. When I came and stayed with her for a week, it was an entirely different picture. Those afflicted with dementia can seem fine at one time, and an hour, or a few hours, later they are behaving entirely different. They can be happy one moment and confused and/or angry another.
I am puzzled as to why you said your mother is getting weaker and why she is sleeping a lot. Sleeping all day can be a sign of depression, which is common in the elderly. Or, as I learned with my own mom, it can be a sign of a urinary infection going on (elderly don't always present with symptoms of fever or pain). Getting weaker can be that she is just plain forgetting to eat. Time tends to pass and they just don't think of eating.
Any chance of getting her moved to where you live? My mother has stubbornly refused through the years to move near myself or my sister. Now I wish we had put our foot down and insisted. It's extremely difficult to deal with dementia long distance, and it will only get worse. Good luck to you,
Thanks to everyone for the responses and advice.