This expensive memory care residence is just about ideal, so I was quite surprised at aide and administrative staff person's immediate reaction when I found mom age 81 and her boyfriend age 79 in the shower together with no attendant. Aides did not know they were in the shower together. Aide and staff person said it's a privacy issue, but to me this seems more like a safety issue. The man uses a walker, and both of them have trouble with dizziness and gait. On a wet surface, in a tiny shower stall, if one slipped and fell, both would go down. I emailed everyone at the organization that I had an email for. I also emailed the daughter of mom's boyfriend. At least a nurse had already told daughter about it--but my impression is that nurse told daughter only because they knew I would tell daughter about it. I find it hard to believe that privacy laws at facilities allow for residents to endanger themselves and other residents. I'm expecting some kind of response from the organization on Monday. If they continue to stonewall and say there's nothing they can do--I will contact ombudsman. This place costs way too much to allow residents to endanger each other. Anyone had a similar experience? (I think it's fine they are in an intimate relationship--just not in the shower!)
Although they are in memory care, they have the right to intimate relations if they want, however they want. How is it to be monitored to all them to make out in the bed, but not the bathroom?
Just like teenagers, they may not be thinking straight when they thought a shower together when they are already unsteady on their feet, was a good idea, but how to you propose they be stopped?
Yes, they could both take a fall in the shower, as they could anywhere. Is there a certain time of day that this is likely to happen? Memory care is not 24/7/365 the only way to receive that is a 24/7 attendant and even they will turn their backs at times.
Would mom's love interest's daughter be interested in splitting the cost of an attendant. What did she say about this?