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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
This Is Typical behavior my Dad Did This. Not much You Can Do . You Have several dogs Also . People dont Care . I Suggest Finding a Therapist who can guide you after Grand pa passes because it is a big Transition .
How are you answering this person? The header does not show up on this page and there is no info about why this person is caring for Grandpa. To answer correctly we need more info. Age of grandpa and OP. Who lives with who. How is it getting too much and why is a grandchild caring for a grandparent.
It was there , a long story was written . Maybe OP erased it?? Young person in their early 30’s has been living with , taking care of , his/her ( not sure ? ) grandfather for over a decade since grandma died . Serious shadowing going on now that is upsetting . This caregiver has history of depression during this caregiving . Living in poverty , tries to do his/her own home business . The person’s family , parent , aunts and uncles ( children of the elderly man ) don’t even visit or anything . OP said they all fell apart since grandma died .
Call your local Area Agency of Aging . Check your county website to see if they can help placing Dad in a facility ( Medicaid if necessary ) . Get a social worker involved . Is anyone POA ?
You need your own life back and to move out even if you have to find a roommate(s) to share rent , and get another job .
You have done way too much . How can every person in one family fall apart for so long ??
They aren’t coming around because you are taking care of the problem . They don’t want to have to help , or watch grandpa decline. They have returned to normal life and stuck you in this situation , stunting your own early adult activities , relationships with people your own age , jobs etc .
You are correct to be upset that “ they didn’t come to help after a few months or even a year” . What a disgrace on your parent and aunts and uncles to leave you with this so long .
I think you should call them up and tell them you can not do this anymore and that you called the Agency of Aging and have a social worker getting involved . And that you are moving out . Move out and don’t look back .
Take your life back . Grandpa could live longer than you think .
You can visit grandpa in a facility if you want . As for the rest of these people , I would leave them behind .
I suggest seeing a therapist as well , for understanding that your life matters too , as you have already said you will find it difficult dealing once grandpa dies . You are already grieving , which is common while watching someone decline . Therapy can help with this . Ask the social worker if they can help you find that as well .
You are young , you can get through this and have a normal life . Peace .
@Blue, Is there any way you can move?? This situation is not good for you. You need a life of your own. If you can not move, would your relatives be willing to step in and help if all of you sat down and had a family meeting? I'm suggesting moving because after my mom died, I chose to stay in the town I grew up because of my father and it was a HUGE mistake. Now, I'm likely stuck here because I can not afford to relocate. There are ZERO opportunities here and it is depressing. If you can relocate or at least get a place of your own, please do so. If you can not, check into some home health assistance for your grandad. Some of the services provide respite so that caregivers can have time for themselves. Your life is not over. You can still have a life you love. Prayers to you!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Young person in their early 30’s has been living with , taking care of , his/her ( not sure ? ) grandfather for over a decade since grandma died . Serious shadowing going on now that is upsetting . This caregiver has history of depression during this caregiving . Living in poverty , tries to do his/her own home business . The person’s family , parent , aunts and uncles ( children of the elderly man ) don’t even visit or anything . OP said they all fell apart since grandma died .
You need your own life back and to move out even if you have to find a roommate(s) to share rent , and get another job .
You have done way too much . How can every person in one family fall apart for so long ??
They aren’t coming around because you are taking care of the problem . They don’t want to have to help , or watch grandpa decline. They have returned to normal life and stuck you in this situation , stunting your own early adult activities , relationships with people your own age , jobs etc .
You are correct to be upset that “ they didn’t come to help after a few months or even a year” . What a disgrace on your parent and aunts and uncles to leave you with this so long .
I think you should call them up and tell them you can not do this anymore and that you called the Agency of Aging and have a social worker getting involved .
And that you are moving out . Move out and don’t look back .
Take your life back . Grandpa could live longer than you think .
As for the rest of these people , I would leave them behind .
I suggest seeing a therapist as well , for understanding that your life matters too , as you have already said you will find it difficult dealing once grandpa dies . You are already grieving , which is common while watching someone decline . Therapy can help with this . Ask the social worker if they can help you find that as well .
You are young , you can get through this and have a normal life .
Peace .
Is there any way you can move?? This situation is not good for you. You need a life of your own. If you can not move, would your relatives be willing to step in and help if all of you sat down and had a family meeting?
I'm suggesting moving because after my mom died, I chose to stay in the town I grew up because of my father and it was a HUGE mistake. Now, I'm likely stuck here because I can not afford to relocate. There are ZERO opportunities here and it is depressing. If you can relocate or at least get a place of your own, please do so. If you can not, check into some home health assistance for your grandad. Some of the services provide respite so that caregivers can have time for themselves. Your life is not over. You can still have a life you love. Prayers to you!
Look up shadowing , it's a dementia term and look up Teepa Snow. My mom has this before she hurt her back. I had no clue it was a symptom of dementia.
I'm actually heading out to get moms meds, but wanted to let you know that stuff, I'll check in later see what others have said.