After my MIL had a series of 4 hospitalizations over 3 months, my wife and her sister decided their Mom (age 86) really couldn’t live by herself anymore. During a serious decline in health a few years ago, MIL lived with us for 6 months (I posted about that on this site then, it didn’t go well, after she recovered she moved back to her own home). My SIL tried to care for her at her home after this last hospital stay (lasted 3 days). The toileting and bathing wasn’t physically possible for SIL. Eventually my MIL came to agree with this. She is now in assisted living for 4 months and thriving. She has some short term memory issues, no diagnosed dementia, is fairly mobile for short trips with a walker, has had a few minor falls. We are now preparing to sell her home in order to private pay for AL, hopefully for 5-6 years. MIL has made quite an amazing recovery, with consistent meals, supervised meds, and social interaction. She is doing so well, we question the move to AL. But we realize AL is the reason she is doing well. Isn’t that a quandary! On her own she wouldn’t prepare meals (toast once a day, maybe), wouldn’t hydrate, etc. Our thought was after her resources are spent down, she could transition to a Medicaid bed. But what if she doesn’t need full skilled nursing in her 90s but is out of money (except Social Security)? Are there any options?
But isthisreallyreal is correct in stating we can't know the future and the wisest choice is to sell her house and invest the money as wisely as possible. Then relax a bit because once a situation declines there are a whole new set of concerns to deal with. I wish you all the best and enjoy the fact she is in AL. It becomes sadder after that.
If you find yourself preoccupied with 'what if's' for your MILs future, make an appointment with an Elder Care attorney for a consultation. That sort of atty can normally lay out your options and tell you how to proceed accordingly and plan for the future.
Good luck!
I would try to invest in safe investments and grow her money to stretch those years.
At 85 with Dementia, in 5 to 6 years she may be beyond the care that an AL can give her. You then get her placed in Longterm care on Medicaid.