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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Sometimes my mother will moan and groan for hours. I'll ask her if she is in pain and she may say no or didn't realize she was moaning. It's very nerve racking. Sometimes I wonder if she is trying to get attention.
I have read that moaning and similar sounds can be self-comforting.
I suppose it could be an attention-seeking device. Is your mother glad when you ask her if she is in pain or otherwise pay attention to her sounds? Does she seem to be needy or lonely in other ways? Would it be possible to pay a little more attention to her when she is not moaning, to kind of reward the quiet?
Moaning and/or making other sounds can be a dementia symptom. Do any of Mother's other behaviors seem at all irrational or confused? How is her memory?
She says she isn't in pain, but is it possible she has a constant low level of pain? What causes her mobility problems? Could that be painful?
If this were a betting pool I'd put money on the self-comforting. But not a lot of money. There could be many things behind the moan.
Thanks Jeanne for your comment. My mother who has congestive heart failure moans constantly. It is most evident when I am escorting her to the bathroom. I was not sure whether it was shortness of breath, or anxiety. She is on oxygen 24/7 but the self comforting really makes sense to me now. I have anxiety just wondering why she is moaning! She has no pain, I think it might be a combination of a lot of things, but will now add self comforting to the list. Thanks to Gretch for addressing this topic.
I have noticed my grandma moans when something is bothering her including pain. When she gets herself worked up or is confused or upset, she sits and does this repetitive moan. Before she did the moan she would repeat herself in much the same manner speaking, "I don't know what to do." so I think it's similar to that response. Her anxiety gets up and instead of expressing what is bothering her whether it be having to walk to the bathroom as mentioned before, or having to go take a shower, or sit in a chair waiting for dinner to be placed in front of her, or being alone for 2 minutes so I can use the bathroom or getting ready for a doctor's appointment or sundowning and whatever goes on during that time in their brain, she moans repetitive.
It's not like a real pain moan where it's long and drawn out. It's a short fast moan that is repetitive. It's bothers me too but more so because it seems to me I should be fixing whatever is causing it but sometimes it can't be fixed or helped. It really drives me crazy when I know it's because she's alone for a minute because I can't sit and stare at her all day and she has someone with her in the room yet it's not me so she does that repetitive moaning sound until I return.
My Mom is 94 and has begun the moaning too. I ask the same ?'s. I have been told it is for attention. I, too will leave the kitchen to work in my office & this happens. I have a sitter for Mom that she loves, but as soon as I leave I hear her say where did Suzie go.
Yes, it's completely normal. It's self comforting. Similar to when you're sick, you find yourself moaning. Not for any reason in particular, but it helps relax your for a moment.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I suppose it could be an attention-seeking device. Is your mother glad when you ask her if she is in pain or otherwise pay attention to her sounds? Does she seem to be needy or lonely in other ways? Would it be possible to pay a little more attention to her when she is not moaning, to kind of reward the quiet?
Moaning and/or making other sounds can be a dementia symptom. Do any of Mother's other behaviors seem at all irrational or confused? How is her memory?
She says she isn't in pain, but is it possible she has a constant low level of pain? What causes her mobility problems? Could that be painful?
If this were a betting pool I'd put money on the self-comforting. But not a lot of money. There could be many things behind the moan.
It's not like a real pain moan where it's long and drawn out. It's a short fast moan that is repetitive. It's bothers me too but more so because it seems to me I should be fixing whatever is causing it but sometimes it can't be fixed or helped. It really drives me crazy when I know it's because she's alone for a minute because I can't sit and stare at her all day and she has someone with her in the room yet it's not me so she does that repetitive moaning sound until I return.