My 79 year old mum recently came to live with us (hubby and me) and I am worried that she is always cold when we find the temperature very warm our house is well insulated and heated at 20.5 degrees. We have turned the heating up to 21/22 degrees but then we feel like there is no air to breathe. Mum has her own space downstairs to sit in if she wishes and also has a halogen heater in her room which she uses and has told us to leave the temperature at 20.5. On the over hand she insists on her bedroom being cool (which I find far too cold to sleep in). I am worried and feel guilty that she is feeling cold when we are comfortably warm. We are both still adjusting to her coming to live with us and sometimes its really hard and I get quite depressed and upset about it all (I broke down at the doctors the other day and at work). Is there anyone else in the same position that can share their thoughts on how to cope with a parent moving in. My husband is being a brick considering it is not his mum We love her to bits and would not want to upset her. Many thanks.
The only other thing I'd point out is my mom keeps the temperature at 78 degrees in her place and just had a nosebleed. I think it's because her place is so hot and dry. But I can't convince her to keep it cooler; she's happy where it is. Thankfully I don't live with her or I'd be having the same fight you are.
No one has mentioned the head. We loose a fantastic amount of heat from our heads. I can't remember how much but it's a lot so wear a hat or at least have a light warm scarf around the neck. Wear sweats to bed, they are so cozy and pure wool socks if you are not allergic. Sheepskin slippers or boots are wonderful. Wicked good slippers from LLBean are well worth the investment.
Sounds as thought Mom is very willing to co-operate with you so as long as she has autonomy for the temperature in her area don't worry too much. Another thing that will make the temperature more comfortable is the use of a humidifier in winter and dehumidifier in summer. That way you won't have to adjust the temperature up or down as much.
My mom had reduced kidney function & A-fib. Plus she was 94. She only had a two or three degree tolerance. Almost everything was either too hot or too cold. The Dr said it was part of her condition and part for age.
We lived in the high desert of Southern California where it can get very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter. We had to run the A/C or the heat more than folks might need to. For heating, we found the safest and most economical way to warm a room was with one of those oil heaters that looks a bit like a small radiator. They don't use very much electricity to keep the oil warm, which then radiates into the room.
Everyone above made wonderful suggestions for layers, blankets, gloves and clothing, so I won't add anything more, except that it sounds like this situation has been stressful for you. It sounds like you are very supportive of your mum and are a wonderful daughter and caregiver- she is lucky to have your care and support. As you are beginning this caregiving journey, it might be a good idea to start out with seeking some support for yourself. So many caregivers wait to reach out for help and support until they are at their breaking point. Looking for support now might help you avoid reaching that point. Maybe there's a support group in your area where you can talk to others who have been in your shoes--they can offer suggestions of what to do, information on what you might expect, share resource information, or even just emotional support. It's amazing how helpful it can be to have someone listen when you are saying, "This is too hard!" "I can't do this anymore!"
** Electric lap blanket. Be sure to check the temp as these can get very warm and you don't want to roast your mom. If you don't want an electric one, try a flannel sheet folded in half.
** Layers, layers, layers. A silk undershirt, a warm sweater.
** Gloves with the fingers cut out. You'd be surprised how much heat you lose thru the back of your hand. Cutting the fingers off lets you still grip things. If she has trouble picking things up with cloth gloves, try good fitting leather ones.
** A microwaveable heating sack. Sometimes you find them for bread baskets, but a cloth bag with rice in it works too. She can put it'd in her lap and rest her cold hands on it.
** Keep her core warm. I found that it worked better to warm my core than to concentrate on just my hands and feet, which is where I felt the cold. Do when my feet were cold, I put on my electric blanket and toasted all the way up to my chin.
We live in Oregon, in the high desert area so we will have snow on the ground for a couple of months here. I’ve invested in layers. A vest to keep the core body warm for her, some long sleeve light sweaters, some long johns to put under her nightgown at night, hat, gloves, a big sweater to wear in the house if she needs it. Basically try to use layers. It is cheaper than the heating bill.
Just saying, this sounds normal. My heart goes out to you. You have the good fortune to share your home. It's a puzzle and I'm sure if you all work together, keep talking with each other, you will find solutions. Best wishes to you...