My 79 year old mum recently came to live with us (hubby and me) and I am worried that she is always cold when we find the temperature very warm our house is well insulated and heated at 20.5 degrees. We have turned the heating up to 21/22 degrees but then we feel like there is no air to breathe. Mum has her own space downstairs to sit in if she wishes and also has a halogen heater in her room which she uses and has told us to leave the temperature at 20.5. On the over hand she insists on her bedroom being cool (which I find far too cold to sleep in). I am worried and feel guilty that she is feeling cold when we are comfortably warm. We are both still adjusting to her coming to live with us and sometimes its really hard and I get quite depressed and upset about it all (I broke down at the doctors the other day and at work). Is there anyone else in the same position that can share their thoughts on how to cope with a parent moving in. My husband is being a brick considering it is not his mum We love her to bits and would not want to upset her. Many thanks.
Everyone above made wonderful suggestions for layers, blankets, gloves and clothing, so I won't add anything more, except that it sounds like this situation has been stressful for you. It sounds like you are very supportive of your mum and are a wonderful daughter and caregiver- she is lucky to have your care and support. As you are beginning this caregiving journey, it might be a good idea to start out with seeking some support for yourself. So many caregivers wait to reach out for help and support until they are at their breaking point. Looking for support now might help you avoid reaching that point. Maybe there's a support group in your area where you can talk to others who have been in your shoes--they can offer suggestions of what to do, information on what you might expect, share resource information, or even just emotional support. It's amazing how helpful it can be to have someone listen when you are saying, "This is too hard!" "I can't do this anymore!"
Just saying, this sounds normal. My heart goes out to you. You have the good fortune to share your home. It's a puzzle and I'm sure if you all work together, keep talking with each other, you will find solutions. Best wishes to you...
My mom had reduced kidney function & A-fib. Plus she was 94. She only had a two or three degree tolerance. Almost everything was either too hot or too cold. The Dr said it was part of her condition and part for age.
We lived in the high desert of Southern California where it can get very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter. We had to run the A/C or the heat more than folks might need to. For heating, we found the safest and most economical way to warm a room was with one of those oil heaters that looks a bit like a small radiator. They don't use very much electricity to keep the oil warm, which then radiates into the room.
** Electric lap blanket. Be sure to check the temp as these can get very warm and you don't want to roast your mom. If you don't want an electric one, try a flannel sheet folded in half.
** Layers, layers, layers. A silk undershirt, a warm sweater.
** Gloves with the fingers cut out. You'd be surprised how much heat you lose thru the back of your hand. Cutting the fingers off lets you still grip things. If she has trouble picking things up with cloth gloves, try good fitting leather ones.
** A microwaveable heating sack. Sometimes you find them for bread baskets, but a cloth bag with rice in it works too. She can put it'd in her lap and rest her cold hands on it.
** Keep her core warm. I found that it worked better to warm my core than to concentrate on just my hands and feet, which is where I felt the cold. Do when my feet were cold, I put on my electric blanket and toasted all the way up to my chin.
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