#1, why is she asking so many question daily.
2,Has Macular Degeneration and ask me what's that all the time.
3. Started talking in low voice hard to hear her.
Yes I am going nuts. Siblings all passed so am only one. She was ok to stay by herself for a few hours but she went for a walk and couldn't find house. Have a care giver for her for 4 hours a day but hard for me to work and get things done. What to do. In home expensive and a facility expensive.
I am caring for my mother Edwina, who is 87 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, parkinson's disease, sleep disorder, urinary tract infection, and vision problems.
Your mother's dementia is causing her to repeatedly ask you questions, get lost, and to speak in a low voice. As my mother's dementia advanced, I could barely hear her because her voice had gotten so weak.
You can apply for Medicaid on moms behalf to get her placed in Skilled Nursing care because her needs are enormous right now and will only increase with time. Speak to an elder care attorney for advice.
Best of luck to you.
Apply for Medicaid for your mom, and then look for the nicest facility Medicaid will pay for and have her placed.
The daily asking of questions over and over and over, getting lost and not able to find her way home and her voice getting more quiet are ALL symptoms of her dementia and sadly things will only get worse.
You have to now do what is not only best for your mom but also what is best for you too. And I hope you will.
Sending support your way! Been there, done that!
BUT, there are lots of other health issues that mimic dementia symptoms and these need to be discounted first in order to come to solid diagnosis of dementia (including the cognitive exam given by a primary physician).
UTIs (urinary tract infections) are very common in elderly women and are not necessarily caused by poor hygiene. This is an infection that can turn septic and can be life-threatening if not treated with antibiotics. UTIs in the elderly often have no other symptoms, just changes in cognition, confusion, delirium, agitation, etc. You can take her to Urgent Care and request she be tested.
Other health issues: thyroid; stroke; over- or under-dosing of medications; diabetes; dehydration; vitamin deficiency; high blood pressure; tumor, etc.
There is no simple test for dementia: all other causes need to be discounted first.
I would call social services for your county to see if she qualifies for any in-home services.
I'm hoping you are not paying for her care. Because dementia is progressive and her needs will keep increasing, paying for her care will be unsustainable.
You can also contact your local Area Agency on Aging for other resources.
Hopefully someone is your Mom's PoA or legal guardian... if not, it may impede providing her with the care she needs. Then she may need to become a ward of the county -- but that may not be the worst thing. I wish you clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart as you work towards a solution.
I am glad you have checked back in with us.
Have you sold moms house yet? Glad to see you have added a helper for four hours. Is mom paying for the helper? I know before you said she didn’t want to pay for help.
The way this generally works is mom will require more and more help as her health declines. In home help is usually more expensive than facility care after the hours expand.
When someone has dementia, it is not uncommon for them to wander. Not uncommon but can be dangerous. Like you said she got lost.
A middle ground might be an adult daycare where she can spend the day with others her age and enjoy some activities. Some even provide transportation.
I think I remember that she used to call you at work. Has she stopped calling you now? You will find that as her dementia gets worse, her behavior will change.
Look up adult day care near your city and see what comes up. You will have to keep someone with her to keep her safe. Sometimes when an elder appears to be wandering, a neighbor or motorist will call 911, someone will say that mom is in danger, the police will be coming by or bringing her home, she will be turned into Adult Protective Services etc etc. Sometimes a passing motorist might stop and ask her if she needs a ride home, she might take them up on it and when they ask where she lives, she will say she can show them but not be able to after they start down the street. She might be looking for her parents home instead of her own home. It depends on how advanced her dementia is.
I hope you don’t quit your job to watch her. Check out the daycares.