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When I walked inside the phone was ringing and it was the police. This is not the first time my Mom called 911. Any idea's on what I can do? Thanks.

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Here in Utah, they will respond to any and all 911 calls--my daughter's friend had a cell # that was 915- and she dialed 91, and then 1 again (by mistake) and sure enough 5 minutes later I have cops at my door and no idea why. They had definitely had this "problem" before, but had me step outside and "assess" the situation. Kept asking me if I was OK. I was in the dark for about 10 minutes as they grilled my poor kid.
I understood, it was a mistake, but if the DON'T respond....well, big time trouble for them.

My mother's "fall pendant" called 4 people and then 911. After her hip surgery, she was falling constantly. The EMT's were sick to death of coming to her apt to simply pick her up off the floor, esp as she LIVES with my brother. Brother added 4 more numbers to the calling list and that helped.

If you have a landline (some of us dinosaurs still do) simply disconnect it when you leave the house, so Mom can't call. Don't let her have a cell phone either.

Yes, they will begin to charge you after so many "useless calls".

You need a serious break and some help. I imagine this 911 calling is just the tip of an iceberg with mom. Please try to arrange some outside help for a few hours a week. This will not get "better". I know how hard it is to accept the decline of a parent.
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My grandmother called the police several times on my mom. It was in the evenings. Never during the day. She had Sundowners and thought people were out to steal everything and all her money including my mom whom she loved dearly. The last time she called the police they met my mom at the facility and mom was so over wrought from lack of sleep that she broke down and the police completely understood when my dad explained everything. My mom worked full time and took care of her in laws along with her mom that had dementia and called all time of the night with different stories that she believed were true......there was a fire out in the hallway, people were eating all her food in the kitchen (she had no kitchen) etc. Mom finally left the phone in her room but disconnected it. When my grandmother would complain, mom would tell her that she was working on getting it fixed and talking to the phone company (she was in an assisted living facility). Anyway, my grandmother passed away and wouldn't you know my mom had dementia/alz. Passed away last Aug. She was in a facility also and they did the same thing. When the patients would come up to the desk and DEMAND to use the phone, they would have a "fake" phone there and say they were working with the phone co. to get it fixed and that would make it better for these poor souls. I lived with my mom for a month while my dad was in the hospital and that was when she was "fairly" functional but still up all night. I was so sleep deprived that I almost couldn't function (and I'm an active person or was). After my dad came home from hospital she completely went over the edge. She couldn't handle me being there and her routine was off. This is such a long story and I'm sorry about that......I guess my point being, look into respite care for her. A lot of facilities do this on a day to day, week to week or a month basis. Or, if your community has an "adult daycare" center that is another way to go. They are great at seeing which people need what and place them with the same type of people. Again sorry this was so long. Guess I needed to vent after taking care of dad who is turning 95 next week. Good luck and God Bless all of you.
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Thanks again for all of your input. No, I can not leave my Mom alone at all. I think deep down I didn't want to accept that my Mom's dementia has gotten worse but the fact is it has gotten worse and I know it will keep progressing.

I did find the website in my state for Area Counsel on Aging and I do believe they offer volunteer services for respite. I will call them and find out for sure.

As far as my Mom being eligible for Medicaid I need to find out.

Will let you know as soon as I know. Thanks again everyone!
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Would your mother qualify for Medicaid? If so, that would help a lot financially. They typically cover a certain number of hours per week of in-home help, and they also cover Adult Day Health Programs -- which are generally an awesome option.

You are right that you can no longer leave Mom alone. It is like being responsible for a very young child. You cannot say, "I really have to get to the drugstore. It will only take 15 minutes. She should be OK for that long." No. While it is obvious you can't leave a three-year-old alone, it is a little harder to tell when it is no longer safe to leave your impaired loved one alone. Sounds like you've reached that point.

Call your Area Agency on Aging and see if there are any volunteer services for short respite. There is one in my community. I think they came for a couple of hours once a week. Any extra hours you can get, go for it!

Check back in and let us know how this is going for you and for Mom.
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Check with your area council on ageing, too, or Alzheimer's Association for day care facilities. I've had excellent results from them. You can even find overnight facilities for that much needed break that you are going to need at some point.
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Thanks so much for all your replies. Yes, I can unplug the cordless phones (my Mom only knows where 1 phone is) and she doesn't know where I keep my cell.

I'm really afraid to leave her alone as I am scared of her falling down (she uses a walker).

Yesterday I took her to her doctor and between the walker and the transport chair it worked out great and Mom really enjoyed the drive (about 8 miles each way). I think getting out is good for both of us. If I did bring her into a grocery store I use a fabric bag that holds food that I can strap over one shoulder. Of course I couldn't do a large food shopping. They also have carts with a wheelchair attached so I can probably use that. There is so many elderly people who live in my town.

I did call the caregiver service and they charge $20.00 an hour. I also have a friend who let me know if I ever need help to call her. I may discuss this with my friend who I would pay to stay with my Mom.

This is something I am still thinking about as I don't want to rush into any decisions just yet but get more information from this agency and my friend. Before we moved I had a neighbor/friend that my Mom was really comfortable with. Problem is neighbor doesn't drive but her husband (or sister) does. I may call her and see if we can arrange something where either her husband or sister could drop her off as she could really use the money.

Again, I need time to think about this. One thing is for sure, I do need some time for myself.
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The operators that man those Alert buttons are very patient. They realize that people will call them when they aren't needed. Mom's was a motion sensor one so it she fell and became unconscious help would be sent. She was always hitting it on something. The operator would come on and ask if everything was alright and Mom would explain what happened.

Is there a way to hide your phones? I have cordless and used to put the base and phone in a cupboard to keep away from my grandson. It was still plugged into an outlet just grandson couldn't get to it. If you have wall phones that have to be plugged in to get Caller ID and voicemail, unplug them and see if that shuts them down. Some only work with electricity. A bad feature, yes, had this problem at work when the electric went out, no phones.
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My mom was also calling the police from her assisted living apartment. They came 3 times in a week and then let us know they might start charging our family for the calls. We did restrict their phone line after that and ultimately my mom doesn't have a phone now. My dad who lives in a separate apartment in the facility, does (mom is in memory care), but my dad continuously unplugs the phone by accident.
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Had the same problem my ward had a help button they always pushed, had to unhook it from the phone line so instead of calling 911 it called the caregiver on duty. A land line you can be unplugged and repluged quickly when needed, and cell phone you might have to hide. Unless she is by herself at anytime. You can register the number with 911 and a note will pop up with a phone number of a caregiver for verification. Make sure you have a key to the door my charge started locking me out. havent found away to stop it
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A friend of mine had mother-in-law who called 911 constantly; they got to know her voice and recognized her number, so they would just tell her something soothing and call back. They finally told her she could not call any more. Her family did find a care facility for her, and I don't think she had a phone available there.
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I had an uncle who would go to the neighbors houses and call the police when my Aunt left to do anything. You must just live with that. It sounds like leaving her may no longer be safe though. She could forget how to use the phone tomorrow, you just never know when they will lose a bit of knowledge.

My recommendation would be to have a caregiver come once a week. You will need time to yourself and to go to the dentist, get your hair cut etc. Things to keep in mind when hiring a caregiver; Be very pointed and descriptive of what you are looking for in a caregiver. You wAnt the same person every week so your mother gets to recognize her and have a comfort with her. The person should have a well established history as a HIRED caregiver with dementia patients. Not just that she has cared for dementia patients - that can turn out to be someone who cared for a grandmother once or twice a month over a two year period as a teenager. You want someone who has done a lot of care with dementia patients. Having the same person each week means that person will become familiar with how to best work with and read your mother.

My mother did not want a caregiver so we brought a caregiver in as a housekeeper. In a matter of weeks she was no longer doing any housekeeping work. When I would get home, my mother would be happier than when I left. It was good for her to socialize with someone different.

You mention that you have a transport chair for her so you can take her to the grocery store. Is this a wheel chair which she can propel herself? If it is strictly a transport chair it does not have the large wheels on back that would allow her to propel her chair. How will you push both her in her transport chair and the grocery cart?
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You can try taking the phone off the hook when you are not there.
Be happy that is all she is doing.
My husband took the car went to the bank and ask them to take my name
off all the accounts.
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I got my Dad a emergency call device. He would put it around his neck...but...every time he got mad he would hit the button.

I couldn't take it from him because..what if he ever really needed it? I couldn't tell the police to ignore it...or call back. I did let the policy know the situation, but I and they had to just tolerate the situation and make occurrence by occurrence determination of each situation.
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I have a caregiver come in 1 day a month for a 10 hour day. I plan
that day and use it. When the time comes I need 2 days a month,
we are already set up and it will be an easy transition. They recommend 1 day a week but we do not have funds for that so we
are using 1 day a month for all its worth.
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Jenna, I too am a homebody. I cared for mom for four years, three years in court ordered a caregiver for six hours on Saturdays so I had a chance to recharge. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for mom.
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Yes glad, you are absolutely right. I do have a pamphlet where either a caregiver or a companion can stay with my Mom so I can have some time off. Basically I am a homebody (always was) but I need to go food shopping, etc. I was planning on taking my Mom with me now that I got her a transport chair so she doesn't have to use her walker.

I think my Mom does get scared even if I'm right outside the door watering plants, etc. I'm all my Mom has left.

Thanks for the input....
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Jenna, you need to find a caregiving agency to help with the care of your mom and give you much needed time off. The day will come that mom will forget how to use the phone. The last time I left mom for ten minutes to walk with her hubby outside, half way down the block, we returned and mom was in tears, in a panic, with the phone in her hand, wanting to call a daughter, a friend, 911, just someone to help her. And she had forgotten how to use the phone I never left her again alone. I even stopped leaving her with her hubby. She would panic over something and he was not able to help her. Find an agency to give mom care and you help and time away even if just for a few hours.
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Thanks for your replies. Yes, I did tell the police officer that my Mom has dementia and she understood and actually told me about her Mom who had a rare form of dementia and only lived 7 months.

Sometimes I do have to leave the house for about 10 minutes and I printed my Cell Phone number on paper in BIG numbers for my Mom to call. I don't have anyone who can watch my Mom. The rehab gave me a pamphlet about people that do come to the house so I can go out for a longer amount of time and not worry about her. I tried calling them Friday but got voicemail so I will call tomorrow. It will cost money and that's okay.

I wanted to attend a service for a good friend of mine who's Dad passed away today but I'm afraid to go and leave my Mom alone. She is steady on her feet and is very handy with the walker.

My Mom doesn't complain at all about her headaches anymore. Maybe they were stress headaches? I have no idea. Now my Mom uses a walker since she fell down and dislocated her hip. She was in rehab for 2 weeks and a nurse comes twice a week and next week a PT will also come to the house.

I'm watching the dementia getting worse which makes me sad.
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I agree with FF. There is usually a community policing office at the local precinct. You might want to call or pay them a visit to tell them that your mom has dementia, is never left alone ( if that's true) and that she forgets that you're there.

Having them ring back in a few moments is a good idea.

Not giving mom access to the phone when you are not in the room is another thing you might think about.
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Jenna, I just went back to re-read your other questions on the forum. Sadly there isn't much you can do for Mom when she starts calling the Police except to let the Police know that Mom has dementia. I have a feeling the Police Dispatcher thought that was the problem since the Police had called back the house.

Hopefully others on the forum who have gone through this will come up with some ideas.

Otherwise how is Mom doing? I remember she was having bad headaches. Were you able to find the cause? Was it her medicine?
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