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For context she still lives independently and does not have a dementia diagnosis but Alzheimer's runs in the family. She told me today that she struggles a few minutes to remember it when asked it. Is this normal aging or is this a sign of mental trouble?

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I'd be concerned about the "big memory lapses," depending on how important these things were to her at the time. Our brains do let things go that aren't all that important to us, but if these are things about the family or other people she cares about then there may be a problem. Do allow time for slower recall - that is normal. However, if she's completely forgotten some important family issue, then I would be watching to see what else shows up.

Some adult children get worried as soon as their parent turns 65 or 70 and forgets something. Some people get worried about themselves when this happens. Some slower recall is okay.

One rule of thumb: If she forgets her keys, that's normal. If she forgets what her keys are for - that's a problem.

If you truly feel that she's having problems, see if she'll just go for a general checkup. Older people can get a urinary tract infection which can wreck havoc with their memories and even their personalities. The same is true about prescription medications and even OTC drugs such as sleeping aids. Then there's thyroid disease. A possible vitamin deficiency can be an issue. If you approach her about her general health, such as blood pressure or getting her medications refilled, you can always write the doctor ahead of time and lay out your concerns. Then the physician would have a heads-up to know what to look for.

Please keep us posted Fairydust. If your mom is developing dementia symptoms it could be from any number of issues. Let us know if she seems to be getting worse and if you've managed to convince her to have a physical.

Take care,
Carol
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Thanks Caro, I am just so nervous - she occasionally gives other signs like big memory lapses for past events. She is adamant that nothing is wrong with her and gets very offended when I imply she's having memory problems.
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We rarely call ourselves, so when we're asked for our phone number it can take a minute of thought. I wouldn't worry about this one issue as long as she eventually remembers it. However, with Alzheimer's in the family, you (and she) should keep an eye out for other changes.
Take care,
Carol
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