Mother with moderate dementia is constantly bringing up new health issues. 99.9% of these issues have been dealt with. But new ones are brought up daily and with her it's, "I've been suffering with (whatever the complaint is) for weeks or months now". Many times it will be the first time I've ever heard about it or the malady will have just happened yesterday. Then she wants me to call the doctor. By the time I get an appt (not an emergency situation), she will have forgotten all about it. If I try to play it down, she gets pissy at me. I'm tired. Anyone else go through this?
Jaye so sorry for you this must be awful yes there are times when we just want them to be at peace and never suffer again. I pray i never see my mum suffer or be in pain that would be too much after all shes been through in life but i have a strong feeling she will go quick she has suffered enough with health issues ALL her life. So sad hugs to you!
When your mom mentions an illness, tell her that you will put a call into her doctor and get back to her. Redirect her attention and she will forget about it.
i drew a cartoon once when i was on a hepc treatment that makes me laugh to this day. im seated in my favorite chair, sporting rat ears and chewing on a physicians desk referance dated 1984. phooo, i proclaim spitting out bits of paper. " rat poison " , this couldnt be good. lol
in another im begging the nurse for MORE intron and duller needles.
lol the va in order to save money had purchased really cheap needles / syringes. these needles werent hollow ground by any means, only bologna cut and somewhat barbed.
They can sometimes relate true discomfort to you, the caregiver, yet sometimes they are relating pure fantasy just because it's what's in their thoughts. Other times they either won't tell you anything, or when you clearly see they are in discomfort and ask them about it, they will tell you they don't know what's wrong and are unable to be specific.
As a caregiver, you kind of have to learn to be zen, in other words, "at one" with them. You have to observe, yes even feel, their behavior add get pretty good at interpreting it, just as you would have to do with a child or a pet. Oh, to be sure, you should be asking them, but not relying on their information out of hand, and definitely not out of the context of what you see and feel.
If she sees an ad on television and what's the medication because she thinks it sounds like that's what's wrong with her, get a tablet and make a show of writing it down and tell her you're going to check it out.
Anything she is complaining about, get your tablet and write it down. Ask her how bad it feels and combine her answer with your observation. If there is a clear suspicion of a problem, 911 or get her to the ER or urgent care, depending on what you normally do. If you think this isn't warranted, observe her closely while telling her you're making a doctors appointment. If she presses you on the issue, tell her that it's coming up in a couple of days.
A journal documenting complaints is a good idea. That allows you to be able to look back and review to see if there are any habitual complaints. You should never ignore any complaints unless you are absolutely positive that you know their source.
My best friend's mother is in the same AL Center which is about a mile from our home. We vote on which mom gets the "Academy Award" each week.
On a side note, the activities director there is a sweetheart. His mother also lives there. She called 911 a few weeks ago becasue she was constipated and he would not take her to the ER.
You gotta laugh or you will go nuts. Rest assured that we do keep an eye on our moms here. But we have also learned when to act and when to just kindly nod and give a hug.
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