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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
"You are a wonderful woman. Your name is Mary. You have had a long and useful life. I am your daughter. Your are a very fine mother. I am so grateful that you raised me to be strong and caring and that I can take care of myself. Many, many years ago you married George. He was a good husband and father. The two you loved each other very much."
If it is consistent with her beliefs you might say that she and George will be together again in heaven.
Tell a little story of her life that includes who she loved and who loved her.
My husband had LBD, and in that kind of dementia it is not typical to lose memories of people. And he did know us all right to the very end. But ...
Early in the disease he was sitting in our living room and as I walked by he said, politely, would you have a minute to talk to me? I said of course and sat down next to him. He looked at me and said, "Do you know who I am? I can't figure it out."
Wow. I wasn't prepared for that! But I approached it as I described above. I talked about his work life and what a smart engineer he had been, and his first marriage, and our marriage, and our children. I kept it simple and factual and upbeat. I ended with "And now you have a disease that is making you forget somethings sometimes. But I am here to help you out when that happens. Together we'll manage this disease." That was the only time he asked who he was.
Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to not know who you are?
Don't feel that you need to tell her her husband died. Tell her he's away and will be back later. She won't remember what you told her. She will only be upset by it. This is the time for kind white lies.
My Mother has Dementia and I tell little white lies all of the time. Someone told her that her oldest son died. I spent days consoling her from crying. I think it is our duty to make sure our loved ones are comfortable and whatever they can remember let it be the best memories that they can have. I hate this disease and it can be overwhelming create as many good memories as you can with the time you have left
This is a very sad stage of the disease -- not that any stages of dementia are ever happy. But the end stage is very difficult to watch. My heart goes out to you.
Is hospice involved in Mom's care at this point? If not, that is something to consider. They can make sure she is comfortable and also offer comfort to you.
She may not know who you are or who she is, but your presence is probably touching her on some level. Be there when you can. Touch her, talk to her.
Photo albums are good to prompt memory. Sit and reminisce with her. Even if she doesn't remember the photos they can still give her comfort. Try also putting a playlist of her favourite songs from the past and present onto a CD or iPod and play it for her. Music is very powerful at evoking memory even it is just a feeling of joy and pleasure
JeanGibbs, Your approach is terrific. I have LBD and yesterday in my Dr's surgery I suddenly realised that while I knew he was a Dr. who on earth was I and why was I there? It only lasted a short time and he was brilliant, but yes, it was one of the most terrifying experiences I've ever gone through. Absolutely every bit of personal knowledge was gone. I knew the year, and all the social stuff but nothing related to me. 1 hr later a car reversed into my wheelchair and the driver told me that she hadn't seen me as I was invisible! Damaged my chair and fractured clavicle but I'm still here and today I know what that means :~)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If it is consistent with her beliefs you might say that she and George will be together again in heaven.
Tell a little story of her life that includes who she loved and who loved her.
Early in the disease he was sitting in our living room and as I walked by he said, politely, would you have a minute to talk to me? I said of course and sat down next to him. He looked at me and said, "Do you know who I am? I can't figure it out."
Wow. I wasn't prepared for that! But I approached it as I described above. I talked about his work life and what a smart engineer he had been, and his first marriage, and our marriage, and our children. I kept it simple and factual and upbeat. I ended with "And now you have a disease that is making you forget somethings sometimes. But I am here to help you out when that happens. Together we'll manage this disease." That was the only time he asked who he was.
Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to not know who you are?
Is hospice involved in Mom's care at this point? If not, that is something to consider. They can make sure she is comfortable and also offer comfort to you.
She may not know who you are or who she is, but your presence is probably touching her on some level. Be there when you can. Touch her, talk to her.
sometimes thinks she is my daughter.
I always agree to keep her calm.
you have. Very inspiring and insightful.
1 hr later a car reversed into my wheelchair and the driver told me that she hadn't seen me as I was invisible! Damaged my chair and fractured clavicle but I'm still here and today I know what that means :~)
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