She has dementia and lives in an assisted living community. dog was removed because mom refused to walk her on a leash(even before her dementia, she refused to walk dog on leash), and the dog off lead is a liability for the assisted living community(also some people are afraid of dogs). She was told,(not my choice, other family members), that Dolly had to go away because mom was not walking her on lead, but of course, mom says she did walk Dolly on lead, says everyone is lying, says we stole her dog, and she wants her baby back. There were signs all over her apt, saying put leash on dog,and nurses cuing her, but nothing worked. We even paid to have someone walk the dog with mom, but then mom refused to go with them. Poor little dog was suffering as well since only my mom or her long time private aide could get the dog to go out, but aide only there 4 hrs a day, and mom took dog out when she felt like it. Mom will not let go of asking for the dog and has been yelling and cursing at us. She was calling us 50 times a dy, non-stop which was frustrating and upsetting, and very bad for my brother who has MS. We finally told the Assisted living nurses to unplug her phone. I know that sounds cruel, but we hd no choice. We live in VA, mom lives in Florida and does not want to move north and leave her aide, Candy. Candy, btw, takes mom out every day to shop and eat out, and also plays cards with her, etc. but nothing distracts mom from wanting her dog back. I have one memory care facility in mom's area that will let her have her dog off lead(very pet friendly). Problem is, we're not sure mom is ready for memory care as she still knows who we are, who Pres. is, etc. and we're worried that she will hate it at this place. But, at least she could have her dog! BTW, places here in VA either do not allow pets, or need them on lead and cared for by the resident. Also, rents at assisted living communities up here are very expensive compared to florida, and money unfortunately, is an issue. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Now, if there are times of clarity with your Mother, tell her rules are rules regarding the dog.... even if the Queen of England moved into her assistant living building with her Pembroke Welsh Corgis, they all would need to be on a leash.
On the bright side, sound like your Mother has a fantastic Aide :) I would vote on letting Mom continue to live in Florida where she is around people she knows.
In our family, moving a dementia patient to a different state only made things
worse.
My mother, age 96, always wants to "go by the house." She is not ambulatory, at all. So, that is not an option. I feel your pain.
There have been others who have written on these forums about a parent who had dementia and how eventually their parent would forget to feed the dog.... forget to walk the dog thus the dog would be relieving him/herself inside the home.... the parent no longer bathe the animal thus the dog's fur was all matted.... forget to take the dog to the Vet for the required annual shots. It just comes to a point where it just isn't fair for the animal to stay in that environment but to be placed with a caring relative or to another forever home.
Take a break from your mother for a while until she adjusts. I had to stop contact with my mother for several months after removing her car, because she called me incessantly about it, and no amount of explaining did any good. She just had to move on, and I needed the irrational, circular, upsetting conversations to STOP. If you take yourself out of her sphere for a bit, it will help her to adjust.
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