Now since she's been declared incompetent I feel like she has no rights. I'm going to court next week for guardianship and conservorship. The lawyer doesn't want to proceed with the divorce because she's incompetent. Her husband is manipulating her because he doesn't want to pay. Now she can't remember all the bad stuff in the relationship and is glorifying it. Now the lawyer wants to talk to my mom about the guardianship and my mom doesn't understand what's going on and she says there's nothing wrong with her. The lawyer says it's not what I want but what my mom wants. But her mind is just not there at times.
Your Mom will need You by Her side all the time now Terrypa and She's so Blessed to have You. One Little Tip though, it's best not to mention the dementia to Your Mom, just pass it off by saying " ah sher Weer all forgetful.
You need to find out why your mother wants a divorce, does it make sense. Sounds like her husband is not your father? How long have they been married?
When you say her husband is manipulating her because he "doesn't want to pay", he doesn't want to pay for what? For the costs of divorce? For supporting himself? For supporting her?
One final thing: you don't say how long it was before she was diagnosed with "severe" dementia that she filed for divorce. Well, severe dementia doesn't just happen overnight. She will have been ill for some time leading up to it. This matters, because it is possible that dementia was already at play when she began to consider divorce. Just something to bear in mind.
What kind of difference do you think it will make in your mother's quality of life if she stays married vs getting a divorce?
Sometimes couples seek divorce when one of them needs a nursing home, thinking they can save assets from MERP. Well, they can't, pure and simple. Medicaid knows all the games people play. Sometimes old ladies give everything away and go into a nursing home and apply for Medicaid. Guess what. Medicaid won't pay either, so the NH has to sue the kids.