My mother will turn 89 in April and she has Dementia. Yesterday she told me she was so hungry. I told her, I just fed you over an hour ago. She said, no, you fed me this morning. So I fed her again. Should I make a big deal out of it or just feed her again?
What, you mean apart from the soup, the roast chicken and roast potatoes and sage and onion stuffing and vegetables, the apple crumble and custard that you've just put away..?
Nurse: Coy's weight is up 3 pounds.
Me: Oh. That must be the pickle he had in a German restaurant yesterday. Should I increase his diuretic for today?
Nurse: A pickle! Don't you know how high in sodium those are? Why did you allow him to have a pickle?
Me: Dear Coy has a terminal condition. My goal in caring for him is to ensure the highest quality of life for as long as it lasts. I am not depriving him of any foods that make him happy. I am glad to see when he starts retaining fluid and to take steps to minimize that, but I am not going to enforce a very restricted diet. If you want the scale back just let me know.
Nurse: No, keep weighing Coy. Some monitoring is better than none.
In other words, my philosophy was like Surprise's. I might add that Coy was a dedicated foodie, as I am. It might be different for people who are not that interested in food to start with, but for me, if/when I have a terminal condition, for heaven's sakes folks, give me all the pastries and mashed potatoes I want!
And I'll also add that I had the encouragement of both Coy's geriatrician and his
neurologist. Coy had followed a heart-healthy diet for years. Now it was OK to let loose and eat what he wanted to.
It doesn't help to show them evidence of what they just ate either
Look there's your empty plate - response is usually
That's not mine
Mom's caregiver found her arguing with other residents yesterday claiming they took her dessert
They didn't but she ate hers and saw others still had theirs so ergo
He loves my homemade macaroni and cheese made with Velveeta! And fried egg sandwiches with mayonnaise ! When he eats these things he looks like a little child in a candy shop and is so happy happy!!!!
I'm with you surprise ...... quit giving me all the Band-Aids to keep me going and give me some cake too!!!!!
And if she's really, really hungry - ? - then unless her weight is a serious problem give her a little something to tide her over.
If she doesn't have a weight issue, I'd likely give her a little more food. Does she normally ask for second servings? Is it possible that she's really still hungry? I might calculate how many calories she's getting and make sure she's getting enough all through the day. If she's getting enough, I might offer fruit or jello. Or put a couple of cookies in the package and say that's all that's left. Maybe, she'll see they are the last ones and that will convince her she's had enough.
You might also mention to her doctor. Sometimes diabetes can make you incredibly hungry and so can low blood sugar.
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