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Hi my mom goes over at least 2-3 days per month to my brothers and he allows her to smoke and he knows she's not suppose to because of her medical problems I don't really get along with him because of this. Is there anything i can do about this issue if i stop my mom she gets really mad at me.

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Does your mom have dementia? If she doesn't and is of sound mind, I don't know that there's much you can do to stop her. It's her life and as frustrating as it is, she can do what she wants to do. If she has dementia, then it's lousy of your brother to let her smoke, but I'm not sure there's much you can do about that either. She's evidently able to get to your brother's place on her own...so has that level of independence. We can't always stop people from making bad decisions. It's frustrating, I know.
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Midnite-- If she only sees him 2 or 3 days a month then I can't see it being too much of a problem. When I moved in to care for my mum a year ago I did not give her a choice about quitting smoking, I told her she could no longer smoke because no caregiver (including me with asthma) would live with a smoker, not to mention she had vascular surgery for a blockage. However, if one of my sisters came to town and took mum out for the day and mum smoked, there isn't anything I can do about that. I think sometimes when we take on the role of caring for our parents, we can become a little "too parental", at least I can, I'm trying to change, but smoking is out of the question as long as I live with her.
I think if your mum is only smoking at your brother's 2 or 3 days a month, you will have to let it go :-)
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I absolutely agree with blannie . If she is of sound mind she knows the risks and if she is demented does it really matter the damage is done so let her have the pleasure however wrong it seems to you.
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Does she have COPD or some other respiratory problem that is aggravated by smoking occasionally? If not, I don't see a big problem with smoking 2-3 days a month.
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Ya know, nobody is "supposed to" smoke, because it is harmful to our bodies. But large numbers of people do anyway. Once started it is an addiction. You and your brother have different ideas about what should be done about mother's smoking at this point in her life. It would be sad to let a disagreement like this cause a rift in the family. Presumably you both want what is best for Mom now.

We need more information to really have advice. What are Mom's impairments? Are you her primary caregiver? Does she need a caregiver?
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Thanks for the advise I was concerned for my moms health and she does have COPD, Heart disease and hypertension and also has A-Fib I wish there was something I could do my mom was a smoker 2 years ago but had to stop for medical reasons. i just say my brother brains on giving my mom cigerettes its like hes putting her to death early. I don't know how people can be so cruel to the elderly. once again thanks for the helpful answers
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Those conditions make a big difference. You are right that she should not be smoking. One reason is that it keeps her from quitting completely. Another is the a-fib, hypertension, and COPD together. I wish you could get your brother on the same page. And I wish your mother enjoyed something like a Tootsie Roll Pop more than she liked cigarettes. Addictions are strong.
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You don't mention that your mother has dementia. If she is in her "right mind" I guess that she is entitled to make her own health decisions, even bad ones. I wish that your brother would not make bad decisions easy for her, but unless you can convince him of that, it is what it is.

My mother has smoked for 79 years. My dad suffered from COPD, as did her brothers, and dad died of lung cancer. It isn't as if Mom doesn't know the risks. If she wants to continue smoking, that is her business. EXCEPT that when she could no longer live alone the options of where she could live were extremely limited because of her smoking. Our main concern was not her health (after 79 years, what is a few more?) but of her safety. We were really worried about all the cigarette burns in her chair and carpet. And with dementia the risk increased. Soooo... she now uses the e-cigarettes. At least she is not going to set the house on fire!

If you have managed to make the "right" decisions easy for your mom when she is with you, I think that is the best you can do. And it is quite a bit. Be glad for that.
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I was going to recommend the e cigarettes with a cartridge that has no nicotine. It will "feel" to your mom like she is smoking, but she won't get the side effects of the nicotine and the tar that traditional cigarettes have.

Wheelie :-)
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