My mother will be 70 this year and lives on her own (still works full time too). Her brother lives with her. A little background on her: She has lived her whole life thinking if you ignore something it will go away. She ignored her gall bladder issues for years before finally needing surgery. Even after surgery she still eats the same way. (she just runs to the bathroom after she eats). She was told she was diabetic about 10 years ago and was given pills (no shots thankfully). She took the one bottle and never refilled it. All she did to change her diet was to use splenda instead of sugar in her coffee. She still eats "meat and potatoes" at every meal and wow can she eat! (she's about 4'11" and 180 lbs). She was also raised to hide everything because of what other people will think. (not fix it--- just hide it). I'd say she was a hoarder but it's not nearly what you see on tv. She does have stuff she doesn't need but it's not to the point of being cripling. She hasn't done laundry in a laundromat in 7+ years. She washes her clothes by hand because of what people will think of her if they see her in a laundromat. She'll pay $150/week for a cab to go to work because of what people would think of her for taking the town bus (we live on Long Island and it's not like the city--- I agree there is a stigma for taking the bus out here but I take the bus because IDC what people think).
Anywhoo-- sorry. She now has bedbugs. I know they're not her fault. they happen. She could have gotten them from someone in a grocery store who knows. However, she has ignored them from day one. She acts like it's nothing and just flicks them off her and squishes them. then says, "oh , haha, there's another one"
I know I'm dealing with much more than just a bed bug infestation, I'm dealing with mental issues as well. I just do not know where to start or how to approach this subject. She will be downright adamant about us (I have 3 sisters) doing anything.
I forgot she lives in a downstairs apartment and her landlords live upstairs. My sister says they have them upstairs, she saw them on the frame of the door. My mother never even told her landlords about the mold in the bathroom and the ceiling is all black and the sheetrock is ruined. (Again---because of what they will think of her and they will throw her out--event tho I've told her a million times they cannot throw her out on the street).
So any and all advice is greatly appreciated. I don't want to say the wrong things to mom and get her pissed or have her withdraw. I need to approach this delicately. I know of the expenses involved w/ bed bugs as well. And none of us have any money so I'm wondering if DSS or APS could help.
losers ..
If the whole house is infested, and it sounds as if her living conditions are pretty dreadful anyway, then you'd be doing all of the residents a favour by reporting this issue. I appreciate the sensitivities, though. I think in your position I'd make a preliminary call for advice only, then follow that through without shame.
I've got a mother like that. Threadworms, head lice, cockroaches, a particularly memorable broken thermostat on the immersion heater so that the water came out literally boiling - if she could pretend it wasn't happening, she did. You have to respect what matters to her, I know, but then again a joke's a joke - you do eventually lose patience with it. Sorry, mum, but welcome to Planet Reality. Good luck!
Do you know the landlord to speak to? Is he an ogre? How long has she been a good, rent-paying tenant? After her earlier experiences I'm not blaming her for being nervous; just wondering if she's thinking the worst without real cause.
Replace all bedding, sheets, blankets, decorative pillows, bed skirts etc. OR wash everything in very hot water and dry in hot dryer. YEP, she'll have to do this in laundromat.
They are tenacious and you have to be careful. I travel all the time and never lay clothes or suitcase on bed. I unpack in laundry room when I retune and wash all my pajamas immediately.
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